If I could type this would be better so it may take a while but I

 am in the second hour of my celexa and as usual I am like

parkinsons victim.  I can't stand this.  Life is so horrible right

 now when all I think of is what will I feel like in the next

minute or two and how it is going to affect my kids and my life

 and the doctors just say to ride through it but it is like a roller

coaster and I can't handle this!  I go through this every single

day and can't even function or eat or drink or calm down for

 one minute and then magically after about 4 hours and the

shaking and vibrating stops then I can breathe again but then

 I pass out, like literally pass out because of being so darned

wired for the next two hours.  I just want to sleep instead so I

 don't feel like this but how damned productive is that?!  NOT! 

 I wish I could be normal and that one step forward doesn't

always mean 100 back again.  This is bloody torture and I

don't know what to think anymore.  I am so sick of being sick

 and tired and I want to give it all up!  I have to look at the

 pot of gold at the end of the tunnel I guess and work towards

 it.  I just wish it was an easier ride and I am going to cry

again and don't want to.  Thanks to everyone on here that has

 been so accepting of me because I think you all accept me

more than I accept myself.  My body hurts from the tension

and my heart hurts from the pain and loneliness.  This is my

 future and I don't want it if it is going to continue this way!Yell


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