Hey Ash, Yea… ””What a strange new world this is”…. I can’t remember where this quote is from. When I finish this response to you I will consider (maybe) sharing it with my ”Friends” here at the ”Tribe”….. Manners dictate that I should ask you first, but since this is all from my deranged and disturbed mind, I am sending it out anyways… (you can’t see me, but I am sticking my tongue out at you) 🙂
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I am certain that on a scale of 1 to 10, that right now my mood is a 9 ! Perhaps this is the result of me having a very satisfying work day! I spared a few questionable trees from the ”Axe”! But probably more to do with me being home, just out of a sweat and dust cleansing shower, and my 1st glass of cool spring water. ( I am up to day fourteen of sobriety!) it is hard to change what feels like a habit. hmmm….. Tony just jumped up on this desk, now he will pace back and forth between me and the keyboard, making it hard for me to see to type. Yes, I can mostly do this without looking, but when I get distracted my fingers start to forget. 🙁
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When I was younger, say thirteen years ago ( I am nineteen now), my parents finally let me grow my hair out long and people started mistaking me for a girl, it made me so happy! 🙂 I would hear adults say, “those girls over there are playing so quietly” or, “those skirts are so cute on you girls!”and I loved to be included in the group of “girls”… I’ve wanted to wear girl clothes for as long as I can remember. I could do this at home when I was younger, and playing “dress up” 🙂
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I loved pulling clothes out of a box of mixed clothes Mom gathered from the thrift store and other families. Putting together an “outfit” and walking around the house. Walking with an exaggerated swing of my hips, play lipstick on my face, a fabric bandana draping down from my head as “hair”, clumping around in mom’s heeled shoes, them always threatening to slide off my tiny feet. 🙂
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But I could ONLY do this at home with my family, I was absolutely not allowed to wear girl clothes out of the house. Which made no sense whatsoever, because when we went swimming, both boys and girls could swim without a top. This is only logical, after all, until puberty starts both boys and girls chests are biologically identical! When did our country get so uptight about seeing nude body parts? Q – Do my naked elbows or ankles turn you on?!? I am trying to think of a word, Puritanical? I think “uptight” might be a better word for this… Plus, our house was so far from the neighbors…No one could ever see me. And, I was usually covered in so much mud and dirt.. Ha!
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The French, Norwegians, Italians and _____all have a healthier take on gendered clothes and body hair! If I ever end up dating or in a relationship with a girl, I will absolutely not care if they shave anything! Boys are different, their feet and armpits stink, & face stubble is scratchy! I do remember dad once shaving his legs, when he was trying to coax mom into not shaving hers. He claimed that he loved how it felt, but hated the itchy feeling when it was growing back. Ha! Mom never shaved her legs or anything after that. 🙂
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I could never understand why the young girls had to cover their chests, we all ran around naked as toddlers. And I saw bare chested pre-teen girls in the summers, when we would visit other families from church or school. Jumping through the spray from sprinklers, playing in the creek or swimming! I never knew I should be embarrassed about body parts!
The main reason I am so happy is that I am currently surrounded by animals that I love! Bob is with me on the front porch, which is on the southwest side of the house. We are watching the sun set behind the hills. 🙂
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While I was filling the bird feeders, I heard ”Jay” a Stellar Jay, doing his imitation of a Hawk and his clacking ”caw, caw, caw”. (I have no idea how to spell this phonetically). So I tossed some raw peanuts out on the front walk… Now Jay and a crow ( Corvus Brachyrhynchos) from a local murder are competing for peanuts. Should be an interesting contest. I call the crow ”Corvus”.
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I am going to simplify things for this and future conversations… I am abbreviating his ( yes, I am certain that he is a ”cis” guy… (I heard him peeing!) name to simply the letter ”A” which is aka for Alder. What a cool guy & family! He was named after one of his mom’s favorite trees, Alnus Rugosa, aka the ”Speckled Alder”, a tree native to the PNW, maybe exclusively to the West side of the Cascades? *
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I guess I am lucky that Mom did not name me after one of her favorite trees, the Pacific Madrone, aka Arbutus of the Ericaceae family … What kind of name would that inspire?
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Sending you a Glowing Smile, a Hungry Libido (dammit!), Hope, Love and Prayers – Iris
Part 1 of 2
I’m soo happy to hear about sober streak! Keep up the good work, and remember if you have any setbacks it is just adding more knowledge when you get back on the Horse!
The not being allowed to wear girl clothes out reminded me of a conversation I had with my best friend. She is the type of person that will speak up about anything LGBTQ+ and give me honest feedback when ever I’ve asked about it. We were talking about her coming out story and I said “If I had a child that was gay or trans, I honestly don’t know how I’d protect them. I’m not sure if I’d tell them to hide it till they go off to College because kids are assholes in high school, and we tend to discover ourselves in College” She told me “You can’t always protect them, you have to have their backs when they are ready and be there for them.” I will admit I felt embarrassed about my initial response, but she knew where it came from and didn’t judge.
For the stinking thing…. not all guys feet/armpits stink with/without hair. Facial hair on the other hand can be like sandpaper when it is scruff, but it does get softer as it gets longer surprisingly. Woman can also get quite ripe armpits even without hair, I remember a gym teacher talking about deodorant vs antiperspirant and it was his opinion that you shouldn’t stop your body from doing something it naturally wants to do and should use deodorant. Turns out a majority of female brands are antiperspirant, and I’ve known women to use men’s deodorant because they feel it works better than the female counterpart.
I hope you have a wonderful day!
Emilie