My Sister…..where do I start?  Holier than thou….a woman with a cause…someone with all the answers? those would be just the tip of the iceburg. She already had dealt with empty-nest syndrome by becoming net-savy and channeling her obsessive controling nature into, among other things, those annoying quasi-religous chain e-mails….Most of you have seen them…They usually include a confusing mix of Saints, religous icons, cute fuzzy baby animals and of course…human babies….That wouldn't be half so annoying if it weren't for the messages that are attached to these saccarin e-bombs. They are like stealth farts…they don't get you untill the perpertrater is at a safe distance and by then it's too damned late.  An exampleof this garbage would be : "If you love Jesus, baby whales and want everyone to go to heaven including me, then send this to five hundred of your closest brunch friends in the next five minutes and you will be blessed beyond you wildest imagingings!….But if you FAIL to do this, ten thousand fleas will decend upon your crotch before the pit of hell opens up to take your eternal soul!….Blessings! Sis"(smiley face)

Yeah…so you get those too? Well I thought ol' sis had run the gambit as far as obsessiveness….WRONG.Then her husband died with only a weeks notice a week before Thanksgiving last year..Since then I've attempted  to open the lines of communication with her…but like the proverbal door to door salesman, once you let her get one foot in the door, she will be in your livingroom and doing her hard-sell sales pitch of whatever happends to be deemed important to her at that moment….

Her latest obsession you might ask?  I'm glad you did! It just so happens that sisters most recent obsession is….alternative health products, natural organic foods and "cures" for cancer…..What a surprise. Oh yes,  sis is on a crusade to turn all the family members into vegetarians. I don't usually laugh in someones face … oh wait that's a lie…I do that all the time….just usually not to unstable family members. ANYWAY when sis informed me recently that I needed to give up my coffee. I laughed…You know, that crazy laugh that parenthetically says " You have GOT to be frikin JOKING right?" She wasn't. It seems that besides seeing spiritual demons coming out of every corner for as long as I can remember, she now sees essentailly  eveything we eat , breathe and drink to cause disease and cancer….Alright , I will agree to *some* truth to this,but  true to form, good old sister has yet again taken the reins of a wagon and is running it full-tilt towards a cliff.

When she "informed" me of the dangers of coffee drinking I seriously did laugh….My reply was ," Sis, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I have *possibly* one drink every two weeks ,if that"…. I went on to paraphrase Clint Eastwood saying " Out of my cold dead hand you'll take my coffee mug!"

Oh yes….by the way …as far as turning me vegetarian….A picture, as they say, is worth a thousand words….Now have a blessed day sis, and in the next five minutes you must send blogl and it's attachment to 500 of your closest church ladies or you'll make the Baby Jesus cry….and as we all know, the last time he did that Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans. Now Chop Chop! Times a wastin'!  GO Girl !

Love, Brother Boy