I used to have everything in order. I had everything in high school. I was at the top of my class at a top 10 boarding school, a tri-varsity athlete, and dating one of the best looking/coolest girls in school. Ever since then I feel like my life has taken a dive bomb.
Broke up with the girlfriend. Went to college to play soccer, and then quit because I hated the coach. Had a bunch of friends in college, and now that I graduated have barely any in a new city. It's like I already experienced the best time of my life.
Now for some reason I have zero confidence in myself. I'm stuck in a shitty job that bores the hell out of me. I have no direction. I would like to make new friends, but for some reason now I get so anxious in social situations it's ridiculous. Today we had a new employee breakfast. I almost skipped it, but forced myself to go. When I was there everyone was talking to each other having a good time. I managed to do so for likie 5 minutes, but then I felt so uncomfortable being around like 20 people, and I started freaking out. I just got up, left the room, and went back to my cubicle to be alone. I just feel intimidated; like I have nothing to add. I got home and just started drinking…just like last night….I know it's not right, but I'm just so frustrated in all aspects of my life right now: socially, sexually, monetarily, and mentally.
I don't know what the policy is on just posting a blog to vent is, but I don't really care. It just helps to write it all down to get it out. If someone reads it, and feels the need to comment, all the better.