so this is not easy for me but i need to tell people other then my family cuz it’s eating me alive. but i’m goin have to stared at the begin so when i was 4 one of my mom’s boyfriends was abusing me and my siblings but i got the worsted of it he would hit me  he would hang me by my feet he would yell at me and make it look like my flout  and when i was 5 he was gone but then when i was 6-7 my mom marinaded to a guy that we r goin call asshole he was nice at the begin but then he was starting to abuse all of my siblings and me when i was 9 he sexily assaulted me when my mom and other siblings were not at home he told me not to say anything to any one and if i did he would kill my family and he would kill me and then my mom fond a now boyfriend he is my stepdad now and he is a good dad but when i was 10 i had to go live with my grandmother in Michigan cuz i was not behaving and thats when i seen my birth dad i had not seen him for years i thought  he was different so when i got back to Minnesota  i wanted to go back to Michigan to live with him so at first he was nice but then but then he was an asshole he let my little sister abuse me and he was abusing me to just not hitting me like she was he did not care about me just like when i was little when i was living with him people at school and on the bus would tell me to kill myself and thats when i stored to self-harm i known it was bad but i could not stop when i stored then on may 18th 2019 i tried to kill myself but then i got to scarred when i tired to tell my birth bad he just told me off and said i was lying but i was not lying so when moved back with my mom i was 12 but i was goin be 13 soon and i keeped self-harming i was always feeling empty and numb and then a little bit after my birthday i was feeling everything and then i went back to feeling nothing then that was how it was i always felt nothing or ever thing  i felt still do feel lost and when i stored 8th grand people where bullying me one of my friend gas-lighted me and when i was trying to stop cuting she would give me stuff to cut myself with and one day a boy in my class seen my cuts on my arm and when the teacher left the room he yelled that i was cuting yelled in front of the whole class and said i was cuting myself  and so people where calling crazy and told me to go kill myself when i tried to tell the school they was nothing done about it i wanted to kill myself again but then the school fond out and had to tell my mom i was still geting bully but i was almost the end of the year but i’m fine of now it’s just i have a lot  goin on and a lot that i have to say but i can’t  cuz what if i get hurt again