What is a life. A quote popped into my head a few days ago and went something like “If you are happy, you are living. If you are not then you are simply surviving”. I’m not happy. Life is dull, I feel a lot and nothing at the same time, colours are bleak and everyone I see is happy, satisfied, in a relationship or otherwise enjoying life. I’m alone. My best friend has other friends while I have only him. It’s not fair on him to expect more attention to me than others but sometimes it’s as if he’s dragging himself from me slowly. Should I let him? If I do I will no longer have to care for anyone else but will be totally alone (good or not?). If I don’t, I have do deal with being dependant on him and risking being let down time and time again and telling him that it’s fine I understand, you have other friends. When I’m not fine,I’m not ok. But I can’t do it,I don’t want to drag him into the hell of my true life. The complete blankness of ever day, fearing to hope for a better life, waiting for something to happen either good or bad, or simply waiting for an end to this misery though hopefully I’ll have done some good by the time I bite the dust… Who am I?? Who can I be? Who will I be? Who am I destined to be, or am I even fated to be at all???…..