- Today my eldest child my daughter asked about her dad…not strange if I had her traditionally. after marriage and courting… But i did not I got pregnant at 16 after my mom died..abruptly my mom went into the hospital and never came out….my aunt who has no children took care of me as best she could by telling a square sheltered girl to go make friends… i did with other broken teens and meet her dad,16 also just two broken half grown ppl looking for comfort and release sex is cheap nd even if its bad its good i can remember lil things not his d.o.b or address and now i feel great shame hindsight lets me see how broken i was .. although i am grateful for my daughter she has grown into a wonderful grown woman i feel so shameful i was not wise in creating her. what do i say?she is not chastising me she is applying for work and they are doing a deep background search so some of the info required made her ask…i feel so ashamed. i raised her to the best of my abilities and him i hope is still breathing he was a randy boy I did not go to prom because he went to jail smh. this although I know I knew this would come up has me here bawling my eyes,out racking my brain its no use my surgery and previous coma has wiped any memory but fragmented ones im soo sad i wish i died on the table to save me the hurt I know i will have to find him just for her closure its scary i knew this day would come i just hoped it would be easy mabey he would have came around but we were only 16 sooo damn long ago i was so scared tried to abort her and just couldnt i chose her I wanted her and this is apart of that
