A lost weekend…not owning a credit card(only a debit card) prevents me at the Budget ticket counter from renting a car for a fun weekend adventure weekend escape to New Orleans and Baton Rouge, LA, that I had so been looking forward to(after tormenting myself all week of course about whether I should go or not, before finally deciding I had earned the right, reminding myself I\\\’ve ALWAYS earned the \\\”right\\\”)….sitting here in my Mom\\\’s basement, thinking about how I\\\’m never going to be able to owMom\\\’sown car(I have one but it\\\’s in her name. And no, could not use that one for the long drive), never going to be able to afford to buy airline tickets on a whim and such short notice like my friend was able to do so he could fly down to the same place for the weekend, never even going to be able to own a credit card again, never going to be able to figure out how to pay the stacks of bills accumulated from months and months sitting before me in different bags, and how I\\\’m never going to be able to get out of my Mom\\\’s basement….
Yet, I don\\\’t have it in me to take the pills. I have to keep moving. I have to keep moving. I have to keep moving. I have to keep moving. (Oh, and I also have to keep typing until I get to 300 letters in what has to be the dumbest, stupidest thing with this nauseating new \”revamped\” format of the Tribe pages.) I have to keep moving. I have to keep moving.
I have to keep moving. I have to keep moving. I have to keep moving. I have to keep moving. Oh G-d let this be 300 words. Nope, still not. So where was I? Oh yes. I have to keep moving. I have to keep moving. I have to keep moving. I have to keep moving. I have to keep moving. I have to keep moving. I have to keep moving. I have to keep moving….
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My heart goes out to you, my friend.
i can definitely understand the monetary struggle you’re having. The only thing i can say, with regards to “cheaper” tickets: sometimes, you might be surprised. Perhaps, if you put your name on the “waiting list”–i’ve seen people do that, although i’m not sure of their expenses. And, as i’m sure you’re probably already aware, the cheaper online sites, as well as the airlines, themselves, can offer bigger discounts–at times. i know, it’s a long shot, but you might be surprised.
***Hugs***
that is where I am, being strong, moving moving moving
So tell me. How do you eat an elephant sandwich?
One bite at a time.
Pick up a bill and pay it. You can do it. Just take a deep breath, pick one up, and go ahead and pay it.
I’ve so been where you are, and I’m not completely out of that place yet, either. It’s so difficult not to compare your circumstances to those of people around you, when they have what you want but can’t get.
I try (though I don’t always remember or succeed), when I find myself comparing my life to other people’s, to think about what I can do with whatever resources I have, even if it’s just tiny things. If I keep at it, doing tiny things adds up so that I have a hair more breathing room within which to stop judging myself so negatively.
There’s a quote that I came across that says it in fewer (and more direct, ha) words: Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
Sometimes I forget to follow that advice, but the quote reminds me that no matter what I can’t do that I wish I could, there are still things I can do.