What is love ?
A word that can conquer anything and everything. This is what I use to believe.
You know I always believed that for a person to be your life partner and lover he needs to be your bestfriend too.Well let me tell you my story –
I came in relationship with my bestfriend and we dated just because he dint have a girlfriend and I dint have boy friend so just till we found our soul mates but like every other story we fell in love with each other madly and deeply.The funniest part is that l loved him so deeply and crazily that we were falling apart.He seemed changed and told me “You need to change,you keep crying on small things” and that moment I really thought I am so unperfect and I need to be perfect for him.He broke me,ditched me,and just made me forget the real me.He made me realize how unworthy I was.I always fought with my family for him.Whatever he said,i believed cause I thought trust is something which is important in a relationship.And you know what? He ditched me with my another best friend ..funny na?? I forgived him for his mistakes done not once but a 1000 times.I dont know why.Everytime I always came to know something worse about him but still could not hate him. Its been 4 years round and I have forgotten to smile,be happy,i feel lonely,sad,depressed and mood swings hit me badly and I have trust issues.I havent dated anyone in my life other than him and even loved.All I think about is I want answers of did he ever love me? no? you moved on? I cant trust anyone now,sometimes even my bestfriends.All they tell me is tu apna aap ko bhul gyi h,Purani wali hasna janti thi.
I have started to block my feelings,shut my emotions,forget small things,my hands and body shiver,shortness of breath and so much I cant even imagine.
I REALLY WANT TO MOVE ON.BE HAPPY,SMILE AND STOP DEVASTATING MYSELF.
It’s okay. Give yourself time to grieve, but don’t let it conquer you. He was toxic, he doesn’t deserve you. You might never go back to being the same, but that’s okay. You’ll come back even stronger if you let yourself.
Think about it. If you survived that, you can survive so much more. An emotionally abusive partner is hard to overcome, but you survived.
Sure, it hurts, it will, but you’re still here, you’re still breathing. If you’re at rock bottom, there’s only one way to go.
You can sit there, sinking deeper into the ground, or you can spread your wings, no matter how broken, and prepare yourself to fly.
You’re never too deep to be saved. If you’re here, on this site, then obviously you want help.
So open up, heal, then fly.
Thanks for your words buddy