I don't really know where to start.. Thing's have NOT gotten any better.
When I was writing on here last time, I was working & starting to feel a bit better about my anxiety.. But that all went down the hill… The job got to me, the manager wasn't being very nice, talking behind my back, I Think i wrote about that b4 & I got mad, i didn't want to deal with it, I over reacted *which I totally regret now* and told Him I saw what he had wrote & i quit.. He told me that I should have been fired bc I didnt tell him about my anxiety when I fist got hired, umm.. but I really don't think that's legal. Someone doesnt ask him if he has a problem & what if he didnt tell them he had diabetes?? Then he should be fired??.. I didn't say that to him, why? I guess bc I felt bad, I alway's feel guilty, even when the person is mean to me.! But anway's, I left a job that at the end of the day I really liked and was really going good for me and was very close to my House… & As soon as I quit everything went backward's, back to the old me.!
I have been staying up late again & sleeping all day. I'm alway's tired. I don't go out much, although I have gotten out a few times in the last couple of week's. I went w/ my Aunt to get my Baby Cousin, which I had been doing for a while now & had a panic attack, it was really unexpected and really got me off guard, it got me really down because I just couldn't believe I was having one again! I thought I was past them, but maybe i'll never realy be over them.
Now a day's, my fear is going crazy. I worry and make things up in my head, the dumbest things, idk y! I hate it. But most Day's im convinced i'm gonna crazy.. B4 it was that I was gonna stop Breathing & then I had another fear and now its this.. Guess Im going down the list. I have been told over and over you don't go crazy from panic attacks & if you were going crazy then you wouldn't know you were.. So why is this on my mind all the time, well 99% of it is when I go out. I want so much better, I want so much more for my life but I have these STUPID fears in my way!
Now I have a boyfriend, but im so indecisive, that I dont know how I feel about him… Lol.! Is this from anxiety or is this just bc I dont know how to listen to my Heart.. I have been wrong so many times b4 that maybe I stopped listening to it.. I don't know. I dont really have ppl to talk to, I have my Family but they have thing's going on & I can't let them know how down I really am!
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I can relate to your job situation. That just happened to me recently too. I had a good job, but then my anxiety came back after like 2-3 months and I was having major panic attacks at work, so I quit, because I couldn\'t do the job the way it needed to be done. I really beat myself up about it, but I didn\'t know what else I was suppose to do. Now I have to find another, and I like you am back in my mode of staying up late and sleeping. My anxiety still there. I have times when I am doing ok, but it\'s been awhile. You are not alone. I don\'t have a lot of people to talk to either. People who don\'t have anxiety just don\'t have a clue…so I don\'t really talk about it. It just makes me feel weak and not together and I know I can\'t help it.
No, i cant go back to my boss, he has already hired someone & the store is so small that it only requires one person to work there = (.
& My boyfriend is pretty nice about the anxiety, but i dont know if hes who i want to be with = /!
No, i cant go back to my boss, he has already hired someone & the store is so small that it only requires one person to work there = (.
& My boyfriend is pretty nice about the anxiety, but i dont know if hes who i want to be with = /!