So I had therapy today finally. I was actually looking foward to go and talk to my therapist you know letting her know the bad and the good. Then she started saying shit and I went from 0-100000 in the matter of seconds with anger. I totally went off on her. She said I wasn't trying to stop cutting. I was like WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY, HOW THE FUCK AM I NOT FUCKING TRYING TO STOP FUCKING CUTTING MYSELF. Dude I went nuts. Then I was like I HATE when people judge me who the hell are you or anyone else to judge me you no one knows what I think all the time or what I do and dont do to get better. Then she was like Im not judging you.. The she said I shouldnt be with this kid that I really like alot, she said he is unhealthy. I was like dude at least he gets it, he has been where I am, he has cut, and for once he is a positive person to be with no drugs and all. I got pissed. She then was like why are you pushing all this on me. And I was like YOU KEEP SAYING I AINT DOING NOTHING TO GET BETTER THAT I GET A STEP FOWARD AND 5 STEPS BACK AND YOU DONT KNOW WHY IT HAPPENS SO SHUT YOUR FACE. Needless to say she saw me getting ready to just freak out which she knows next move is punch her, hurt myself or something else so she knocked her shit off. Then she started talking about me going to the day program there thats 9-3:30 5 days a week.. I was like HELLLLL NO I hate day programs I get bored and then get myself in trouble. As we where talking on the way down I had said my boy is there, and she was like well i cant send you there then, I wish like I know and I wouldnt go. She was like I could twist your arm somehow and youd go. I turned around as was like trust me you wont change it and if you say i cant see you if I dont then Oh well Ill go kill myself before I go to that shit hole. SO I got homework writting what I think others see when they see me and stuff like that. Pretty lame basically since really I could care less if most people dont like me, they sure as hell talk about me alot though.. So hey Im the center of their universe YAY!!! So in closing why is the human race so fast to judge people really?
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Knowing
rebeladdict, , Depression, 0
She silently guards her surrounds under the full moon’s radiant light by her river awaiting his return. She knows...
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My E-Diary Part Deux!
SerialSade, , Depression, Relationships, Sex Therapy, 0
Well as we can all see, on my relationship status I have "Madly in love" or some such. I...
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Failure
TryingXAddicus, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Grief, Obesity, Weight Loss, 0
Well, it's happend, I've fallen back into my ED. I've been restricting,working outand losing weight, four pounds already. I...
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Forever?
Confusion, , Depression, Career, Depression, Medication, Relationships, Therapy, 2
Is anyone out there scared of the concept of "forever"? I did not think twice about "forever" when I...
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A blur
lessthanthree, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Personality Disorder, Questions, Relationships, 2
The one thing I hate about holidays is inconsistency. I like having a timetable, it keeps me on track...
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The World Today
Vividnightmare, , Depression, 0
I want to tare it apart And Make it whole again Sear it in two Just so I can...
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What Is My Part In This?
sadviolinist, , Depression, Bipolar, Depression, 1
Finally I'm done with work until next Tuesday! I even got to leave a little early because I finished...
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The Beginning of Pain
LPhantom3, , Depression, Child, Domestic Abuse, Obesity, Relationships, 0
November 4, 1996, the day everything began for me. The pain, loss, suffering all of them had never crossed...