I really screwed up, this weekend I tried to kills myself. well with the intervention of my girlfriend, well pseudo girlfriend, actually she doesn\’t want anything to do with me. I hurt her and a few other people really really bad. it appears that there is no coming back from this one and that was the reason for the attempt. with my OCD. I keep asking her for one more chance, but she states that it isn\’t gonna happen. How can I make amends to the people I hurt when I can\’t even get the chance to make an apology, or amends. No one wants anything to with me. It\’s not fair that I can\’t even get a chance to turn things around in other peoples eyes. No one want to hear it. They don\’t understand the disease. It\’s just that I am a monster. I keep trying to fix things but no one will let me, i\’m still at rock bottom, still in limbo with no one that loves me. I lover her so much, she is the world to me but she doesn\’t want a single thing to do with me. at all.so what do I do? I just want that one chance but it\’s never going to happen according to her. I\’m just alone and screwed up.   Just wish I could get that one last chance. I can’t believe that someone can just shut off the love for them that they had. it sucks, how could she save me from death just to destroy me by not giving me time to amends. again I just can’t believe that she can just turn it off like that. Why and how can someone do that with out even giving the chance for any type of ammends or a second chance. I am left with nothing.