I really screwed up, this weekend I tried to kills myself. well with the intervention of my girlfriend, well pseudo girlfriend, actually she doesn\’t want anything to do with me. I hurt her and a few other people really really bad. it appears that there is no coming back from this one and that was the reason for the attempt. with my OCD. I keep asking her for one more chance, but she states that it isn\’t gonna happen. How can I make amends to the people I hurt when I can\’t even get the chance to make an apology, or amends. No one wants anything to with me. It\’s not fair that I can\’t even get a chance to turn things around in other peoples eyes. No one want to hear it. They don\’t understand the disease. It\’s just that I am a monster. I keep trying to fix things but no one will let me, i\’m still at rock bottom, still in limbo with no one that loves me. I lover her so much, she is the world to me but she doesn\’t want a single thing to do with me. at all.so what do I do? I just want that one chance but it\’s never going to happen according to her. I\’m just alone and screwed up. Just wish I could get that one last chance. I can’t believe that someone can just shut off the love for them that they had. it sucks, how could she save me from death just to destroy me by not giving me time to amends. again I just can’t believe that she can just turn it off like that. Why and how can someone do that with out even giving the chance for any type of ammends or a second chance. I am left with nothing.
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Understanding
lightangel, , Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
Well I know my journey and where I came from. Many years ago now seems like another lifetime. Hard...
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Why am I here
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I joined this forum form a hotline and it’s a long story. I have not been to therapy, it...
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My Daily Journal
SmileDarlin4117, , Anxiety, Depression, LGBT, Depression, Relationships, 0
4-21-2020 Today, my back hurts really bad, cause I pulled a muscle a few days ago.. And I’ve been...
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“Just one more night….” (what Ace asked of me last night, when I was wavering)
thebadkitty, , Depression, Addiction, Bipolar, Career, Depression, Questions, Relationships, Religion, Sex Therapy, Sexual Abuse, Therapist, 0
"I heard there was a secret chord That david played and it pleased the lord But you don’t really...
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Disappointed
TRACI, , Depression, Child, Depression, Gambling, 0
I really dont know where to start. My life lately has been such a disappointment to me. My husband...
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First Anniversary
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October 4th is the first anniversary since my grandma passed away. I miss her so much but life moves...
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Boo saves the day & Prom
momhurts, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, 0
After waiting and dreading for forever, Mockingbird day finally came yesterday. I chaperoned the sophmore class trip to Mpls,...
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It Really Does Get Better
leftwingeddove, , Depression, Child, Depression, Grief, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, Obesity, Parenting, Self Esteem, Suicide, 1
I wrote the following October 5th, just after the 5 gay young men committed suicide. I am so, so...
I’m sorry I’m here for u if u wanna chat
It is difficult to know why people make the decisions that they do. I don’t know how she feels that she had to leave you.
But remember one thing: she did save your life. No matter whether she was going to stay with you or leave you, she saved your life. That proves that you are worth living! It won’t be easy but you can get through this sad time and succeed in your life. Don’t give up.