my name is binky and im 18 years old i was bullied when i was younger from year 5 to year 11 and i wanted to end my life countless times. i also became bulimic and i still struggle to eat because most of the time i feel lonely and all i want is someone to be there to hold me and tell me things are going to get better. i feel that i am broken from my past and sometimes i have that little thing i hold on too that little thing called hope but then i come to reality and nothing is ever good in life but that is what life is. its hust one big test to see how people like myself and you reading this can/will cope and some people can cope well others take a short cut out and end their life.

few years ago my whole world came crashing down not only was i bullied but i was also raped and i still struggle with it now its not something that you can wake up and shake it off like nothing ever happened.

about 7 months ago i bet a guy and i fell for him badly and he made me the happest person in the world and i thought everything was starting to look up but it was all good to be true. he cheated on me and lied about it. i still love him and 6 months on i still stuggle with it sometimes. i trust him just not as mush as i used to and i want to fully trust him but i have been hurt so many times i feel lost and confused.

i would never ever cheat on him or let him down but he let me down and that made me feel so bad i was going to end my life but then i relized why was i going to end my life beacuse of him thats taking the easy way out so to speak, its god testing everybodys strengh.

all i ever want is that someone to be there guild me, help me, stop me from doing silly things and most of all i want the someone to hold me tight and tell be everything is going to get better.

why do people do this to us.