Why is this happening to to??Why can I enjoy being here with my family without anxiety? Why can I not be alone? What is this fear that I have coming over me and causing me to feel this way? I feel like I am letting my kids, my husband, and yes myself down. I can not stand this anymore. No I have no feelings to hurt myself or anyone else!!! I wanted to say that so no one worries. I just have this ache that I am missing so much that I could be sharing with my family, so much of myself that they are not getting because I feel this way. I don't want that to be true I want to belive that I am giving them 100% of myself but I know in my heart that is crap. They don't do the things that other kids do, go the places they do and have a mom like the others do. I know as well that everyone has issues they just hid them differently but it hurts to see them do the things that I want to do. My son starts first grade on Tues. and there are so many others that are going to take him and pick him up with me cause I can not get there myself. How sad is that. I cried on Thursday when I went to his school with my mom and there were these other moms there that we with there kids, JUST THEM and there I was wanting to run screaming for safty. Yea I know I am having a pitty party but it is how I am feeling right now and this is starting to make my anxiety subside and that is important. I wish there was a magic wand that I could wave and make us all better, to be what others call "normal", but I can not there is nothing like that. Thank you for listening I greatly appreciate that..Have a great day.