My boyfriend and I had a huge fight just a few hours ago.  We kind of made up.  He has gone to bed now.  I am still really upset.  He thinks that I am being really unreasonable.  I don't know what feel or think anymore. 

Here is some background.  My boyfriend quit smoking and drinking about 6 months ago.  He didn't know how/when to set limits.  He got too drunk too often.  It was definitely a problem.  Lots of people are alot worse but it was still bad.  I participated too at first but I got sick of it and didn't want to do it anymore.  We fought about it alot.  Then I found out that I was pregnant.  I was really scared and skeptical but David was really happy and promised to quit smoking and drinkinig.  He did.  It was hard but he did and everything was good with us.

  A few weeks ago he decided it would be ok to "have a beer every now and then".  He has been drunk or buzzed about seven out of ten days since then.  Today we went out for lunch and he had a beer.  I was fine with that.  Then I wanted to go home but he wanted another one.  I said ok.  Then he wanted a third.  Did I mention that we are broke?  Also I was really tired, my ankles were swollen, and I needed a nap.  I am due in a week.  I convinced him to leave but he wasn't very happy.  We had a good talk and I told him that I feel like things are going back to the way they used to be and that that is not what I want for baby and I.  He said that he understood but that I was being paranoid.  He had just had a hard week at work – which is very true – and that he wanted to have a beer, read the paper, and relax.  He said that he would go back to the bar and have one more beer while I napped and then come back and make a nice dinner and that everything was ok.  I was happy with that.  He had promised to be home by 5:30. 

A beer turned into getting wasted on money that we don't have and playing pool with his friends.  He came home an hour and ten minutes late.  I was making dinner.  I had a fit.  I swore, cried, threw things, said things that I didn't mean- and things that I did.  I probably upset my baby and I feel really bad about that.  I need to stay calmer than that.  Especially now.  David thinks that I am crazy because he wasn't that late.  He also said that he wasn't that drunk.  His eyes were all glassy and his words were slurred though so I don't really believe him. I am so stressed out and sad.  Am I making too much out of what happened? My boyfriend is a good guy.  I have been very emotional lately.  I just don't know anymore.  God I wrote alot.  Thanks for letting me vent. 

  1. RecycleYourself 15 years ago

    i would have been pissed too!!!!! its very strange, but my friend from work (who is pregnant) told me that her husband started drinking almost every night recently…and he told her it was because he was stressed and nervous about being a dad etc etc. maybe it has to do with that. it still doesn't warrant the behavior though. most of all what would bother me is that he lied to you, saying he'd have one beer and come back and make dinner, and then showing up late. that wasn't right. you should be mad, its not due to "pregnancy hormones", so don't let him tell you that either. you should sit him down when he is sober, and have a nice calm discussion with him…..that youve been very understanding toward him, and his drinking problem, but that he has to be understanding towards you as well, and acting like this is not good for you or the baby.


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  2. troubled12 15 years ago

    You had every right to be pissed. He should have more respect for you not only now but all the time. We are not perfect but respect is something we all deserve no matter what. Hang in there and good luck.

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