So tired of having to struggle so much every single day just getting up in the morning can be almost impossible some days depending how I am feeling & slept the night before!!! Today has been a really bad day their have been no little rays of sunshine not even my nap brought me any kind of relief because as usual woke up sweating from the dreams i had. Wish I could just float through life for a little while no responsibilities or people to deal with just for a few days would be a huge relief! It feels like i am invisible :(. I am dead inside!!!!!!!! All I am managing to do is the bare minimum right now even getting a shower can become overwhelming…I hate the silence & the aloneness of it! As long as I am with people I can pretend & keep it together but put me somewhere by myself & I can't stop those thoughts from getting through. I am like a stone cold & hard!!!!!! I have Not cried in a good 8 weeks at least maybe more I stopped keeping track a while ago. Horrible things can happen to me & I could give you a smile it would be fake but still I could pretend to be fine & most people would Never be able to guess all the things I am having to deal with on a daily basis…many people would have lost it by now but not me I just keeping digging a hole for myself & going in deeper & deeper! I should have reached my breaking point many many years ago yet I still haven't…it feels like I can't ever hit rock bottom no matter what happens! People say I am strong & I HATE it I don't want to be strong I want to be human like everyone else is & feel emotions like they do. I am so disconnected from myself it is like I am not in my body anymore it is like a seperate part of me like I am watching a show play out in front of me but where I am in the lead role!!!! I am seriously wondering if it is worth it anymore to me I don't think so to other's I am not sure yet! I think my family would be relieved in a big way but not sure they have a say in this it is my choice & NOT their's!!!!!!!
Related Articles
-
I hate being alone
lorenaloexa, , Anxiety, Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
I’m going to admit to something stupid. I’m bad about asking for what I want and I am really...
-
God
adam.l.tindall, , Anxiety, 0 -
Everytime I think I’m healed
TiredHuman, , Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, Anger, Child, Depression, Grief, Life Coaching, Obesity, Therapy, 0
I’m kind of tired of blogging, chatting, venting…..all of it. I want more and I want to be more...
-
Having Faith
djbeeb, , Anxiety, Teens, Uncategorized, Wellness Tips, Anger, Anxiety, Career, Codependency, Mindfulness, PTSD, Relationships, Schizophrenia, 0
Recently, I hurt a good friend of mine. It was unintentional, which they understood. However, they were extremely angry...
-
I don't know, do I have low self esteem?
sleepygirl, , Anxiety, Self Esteem, Therapy, 2
I think I just realized something. I don\'t think I\'ve ever had any self esteem. I guess I don\'t...
-
God
adam.l.tindall, , Anxiety, 0 -
Fidget Spinner
cconstellate, , Anxiety, Depression, Anxiety, Child, Domestic Abuse, PTSD, 1
There has been so much hate being spread for fidget spinners. If you don’t know what they are, a...
-
Why am I broken?
Palmbeachgclean, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Addiction, Depression, 2
Why M I so broken I side? Why cant I feel like the happy faces I see daily either...
0 Comments