Should have been a great weekend, went to Orlando with the kids and my assistant and her man.  Went to Disney Boardwalk we were having a wonderful time until 11pm when my phone rang it was work, normally I would ignore but thought this is gotta be important if they are calling this late.  It was my boss, one of our paramedics who I am close to killed himself at home.  He had been a no show for work we called him several times but no answer he had been on vacation so I figured I screwed up the schedule.  I never would have thought he was even depressed, he never seemed upset or depressed he always had a smile and was very caring for all he took care of.   So basically, our weekend was pretty much dampened, I had to call my staff and tell a very emotional assistant that the guy who came into see her every day for his chuck norris joke of the day was dead and not cry myself. 

 So we went to universal today and I put on a smile for the kids and tried to forget and have a great time, but now we are home and I can't help but think Why?  and that I will never see that wonderful smile of his again.    If you have never been to one an ems or fire funeral is the saddest affair you will ever attend no matter how you try you can't help but cry and if you look around there is not a dry eye in the place as they tone out their identifier for the last call.  This I will have to face sometime this week for the final goodbye.