my day didnt start off too good and its still not over,having alot of boyfriend issues lately. It all started early this morning when i was getting ready for the day,I was in a hurry and kind of stressed and overwhelmed with all that was going to go on with the things i had to do, worried about my ged test. my boyfriend comes in and wants attention,I kiss him and tell him I'm in a hurry and i cant mess around,I admit I was kind of snippy. He gets all mad and says I cant show him any affection for one min,says what ever then takes off. later in the day I get out from taking my ged test I see him walking, he sees me and just ignores me,it hurt alot,and it was childish of him to just see me and keep walking. made me mad actually.
Im so hurt that he did that,that iv been ignoring him and his phone calls for most of the day,I dont want to hear how its all my fault or hear how im being selfish. he left me a note that said "its messed you ignored my phone call" but yet its not messed up of him to see me on the street and completely ignore me.
Hes the type of guy that does no wrong and everything is someone elses fault. so im always the one being selfish and not validating him,he doesnt care how he makes me feel,just how I make him feel. he never hurts me in his eyes when that is completely wrong. we have had plenty of issues and i'v tried and tried with him and seem to get no where. I want to give up!
I want to leave him but im scared,hes manipulative,and hes hit me before when i tried to leave him in the past he also called me names,he doesnt help my stress level any!!!
i gotta agree with cg, your partner should make you feel loved, safe, and supported………….not fearful, manipulated, and held back…………………you obviously have a lot to swallow on your own, let the boy go-or eventually you'll pay the price for staying……………..it's hard to get better when we are shackled to dead weight, sad, maybe even a painful truth-but it's just that, truth……………good luck in your decision making and keep your eyes open…………….your diagnosis has thrown your life squarely into your face, are you going to seize it like never before and live it?…………….or continue down the path that put you at risk to begin with? it's your life, only you can abdicate or live it-
I know I should leave him and I know I want to,I also know it was a big mistake to ever give him so many chances,I was so stupid to ever think things would get better with him,I'v got myself in a tangled mess and i have only myself to blame. I know what I need to do. the only thing that is holding me back is the fact that I dont want to get the sh** slaped out of me for trying to leave him,its happened before and i dont want it to happen again. I'm a tiny girl and I want to avoid stuff like that. I wish i had a body gaurd to be there when I break the news to him I'd feel safer…ya know?
i echo xk's sentiments here and would add in light of what you just shared that you don't need a bodygaurd or an order……………call the police, tell them you want to get your things, tell them why you are afraid and calling them………….they will either go there with you or set the wheels in motion to do what is appropriate and legal, but my guess is they would at least escort you there and also to a safe/other location………………if that is truly your circumstance, then this is your course of action……………………you deserve to focus on your hiv health and diagnosis in as much peace as possible, fearing for your safety does not fit into that equation.
Know your worth – When someone treats you like you’re just one of many options, help them narrow their choice by removing yourself from the equation. Sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you do. Because sometimes you can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to you. It’s not pride – it’s self-respect. Don’t expect to see positive changes in your life if you surround yourself with negative people. Don’t give part-time people a full-time position in your life. Know your value and what you have to offer, and never settle for anything less than what you deserve.