I'm only going to write about this here, since well its kinda sensitive and I know ya'll can relate.

 So, the first part is my relationship. I don't really know whats going on there and sadly enough I just don't want to even think about it or anything. Before we moved down here, my boyfriend and I were going thru some trouble since I had been very stressed with quitting my job and moving. I admit it, I wasn't very nice to him, and really everything he did stressed me out. Right before we moved it was our one year anniversary, and needless to say it didn't go well since all he did was get me a bouquet of flowers. (not that I don't like flowers it was the fact it was like he didn't care ya know)

 So we move down here which is really stressful on us both, because we moved 3 hours away from what we were used to. A few weeks after we were down here he drops the bomb: he actually messed up our anniversary on purpose. So, he did it to hurt me, because apparently he was getting back at me for being mean to me. This completely messed me up.  I really trusted him, and before this I thought he was the man I wanted to marry, and all of a sudden he spites me and I don't want to trust him anymore.

We went thru a few days not talking until we talked it out and decided to try to work it out.  I mean, honestly I cannot afford to live down here by myself, I still care for him, and I have the hope that I will be able to forgive him and forget. So the past few months I've been trying to trust him again and I can't.  I forgive him for making a mistake, but I am SCARED that he will do this to me again. I keep thinking maybe its for the best that I know that he's a bad person now, but then I think well he's human and I should trust him again.  To add to this, he's been really a jerk lately, keeps talking down/looking down on me, and I don't like being treated like that. We had a huge fight last week and I went home for a few days to think. I talked to my dad and he just gave me advice on relationships, and I also spent most of my day with my ex who I admitingly still care about. So I came home and we talked and I told him whats going on and nothing has happened since.

So heres where I am now.  I still live with him, and I get along with him ok but at this point in time I don't want to marry him.  Maybe that will change I don't know.

To add to this, his best friend is having relationship problems and is moving down here too.  Maybe they will get their own place or something, but I still don't know if I can afford to live here alone. Ah its crazy.

Also work has been weird.  I've been working at 2 different stores the past few weeks.  Honestly, I love my job. I love the fact I get to sit around and talk games all day, there is just alot of stress going on in the company.

 So, not much time for progress. I think this next weekend I'm going to go home again.