you seem desperate for an answer so ill give you one, you might not like it, it might not be what you were looking for, as everyone wants to be told something specific the other cant possible know. youre not a weirdo, people have developed fetishes and fantasies contemporary with the era. its why ankles were fetish-ized for a time, im not sure of the actual term for it, but think of it this way, with your example. slutty nurse outfits dont do it for you cause theyre not realistic, like you said. its not whats seen, its the context of it, which is why its more exciting for little boys to peak up a skirt than it is to look at a naked person on the internet, to use a metaphor.
its more exciting for you to “peak up the skirt” of a pair of scrubs than it is something intentional provocative, its the unwitting provocateur that makes it exciting.
of course thats jut my opinion, and could be way off base. you mentioned that real doctors dont do it for you, but your girlfriend, for whatever reason, did. could be that youre not comfortable being intimate with strangers, even despite your fantasy, and you would much rather dress up someone you actually have feeling for. which would be normal to me. little girls and boys play house and doctor all the time, non-nefariously. why is it so crazy to assume we still dont like to roleplay? but with more adult scenarios.
youre thinking about it lots though you said, more than you seem to be comfortable with. i honestly dont know what to say about that other than young people have high libidos. but its bothering you. maybe you havent lived it out enough? being that few times? fetishes sometimes have deeper meaning in a person psyche, im sure you know. could it be that you enjoy it when people take care of you? and now that your alone there is no one to do that, not in the way you want? thus its getting stronger, and “out of hand”, like you say?
thats my two cents anyway, maybe it will get the conversation started for others to jump in