I fell for him so hard, so fast. And when he broke me, I went tumbling to the ground. I’m trying to put myself back together through other men. I know it’s not healthy. I know it won’t fix the hole in my heart. I feel so lost. I go on dates after dates trying to find someone to replace him, but I only find myself getting hurt. What do I do? When will this end? How do I fix my broken heart?
Finding someone feels so hard,
I go through moments of happiness, but eventually my head gets filled with thoughts of him. Thoughts of what I could possibly have done wrong, and how much I miss him. But, I would never take him back. The “perfect” image I once had of him is gone. He ruined the potential we had. It’s his fault, right?
After it happened, I felt so broken. More broken then I’ve ever felt before. I was ready to give him all of me, but he was ready to give it all to her.
I didn’t want to eat for days. I forced myself, of course. I just wanted to sleep, because when I was sleeping I wasn’t thinking about him or the pain I was in. I took showers, many showers. It comforted me in a way. I’d stand there, under the running water, and cry. I asked god, “why?”
I’m finding myself not trusting guys now. I fall so hard, and in the past I’ve trusted him to catch me, but he wasn’t there when I fell. I consider myself a tough person, but with him I cried for days. For hours at a time. I felt hopeless. I’m slowly regaining that happiness, but finding someone is hard. I just want someone. I want someone to love and who loves me back. I want love, and passion…Will I ever find it?