Well here i am again, im getting boring i know but going to keep on putting stuff down, this was only going to be once a week but have taken a week of work to rest and recharge but the trouble seems to be that now I have nothing to focus on i am only thinking about why im like this, not good. So think i need something to do dont know what because the thought of getting up is difficult enough let alone anything else one step at a time get up get washed one foot in front of the other get through the day.

Just read that bit back its bad when you are telling yourself just get through the day but thats how im feeling at the momment.

About yesterday:-

Got up had a bit of breakfast, went to the gym did very small workout am going to try and excersise every day no matter how little, had lunch just some soup. Went to a funeral and said goodbye to an old friend. Came home had dinner and then nothing much apart from watchin TV.

How i felt:-

After a goodnights sleep woke up feelin anxious, skin feels prickly and got neck ache also got constant stomach ache like nervous feelin. Felt ok once got up and out think that probably was worried about going to funeral always brings back bad memmories when am at those type of things anxiety came back on round about dinner time so just had a quiet night. Watched a film before bed and had bad dreams last night. Should know better by now that when im like this its not sensible to watch action films before bed.

On the whole although yesterday was a struggle and i now feel washed out i did do quite alot and got through it without any major problems. Just got to be patient, take every day as it comes and think of it as baby steps, dont want to feel like this but then nobody does.

Going to get up now and begin again, you ca do it.