Since the age of 13 I have struggled with a terrible addiction to drugs that almost took my life many times, I can thank a bunch of people with helping me with my struggles, but without my good friend Lyla I literally would not be writing you this today. I met Lyla on November 1st 2010, my best friend for 18 years had just passed away after a 6 year struggle with a terrible heroin addiction, For the next 4 months I spent almost every day with Lyla, during that time I had reached by far the lowest point in my life and in my addiction, I was a terrible person to be around, every single member of my family had cut me off and would have nothing to do with me, the only friends I had left were the ones I used with. I spent every single day in my house, didn't get off the couch, had my electricity turned off and didn't really even notice, I got down to 75 pounds at my lowest and most of my hair had fallen out. Every single day during those 4 months Lyla spend most of her day at my house, she had never used a drug in her life, and had never even spent any time with an addict, she came from a very different background then me and I never thought a girl like her would want to be around a girl like the one I was. She almost always cooked me 3 meals a day, even if I would take a bite and throw the plate against the wall, she would be right there to clean it up for me. She would pick me up off of the couch and sit me out in the sun to get fresh air every day. This beautiful girl did so much for a girl she barely knew, I will never get an answer as to why she did this for me, but I will forever be grateful. On March 1st 2011 at around 5:00 AM I suppose Lyla had gotten a bad feeling and came over to my house to check on me, my doors were all locked but she knew something was wrong, she broke in through a window and found me on the bathroom unconscious, she rushed me to the hospital. The doctors said if it wasn't for her I would for sure not be here right now. I was forced to stay in the hospital for the next day for a mental evaluation; Lyla was right by my side. I was told I needed to check into a treatment center, my addiction had come way too far, I had never been to treatment before and I was absolutely terrified. I was 21 years old, how did it get his bad? Part of me knew I needed to go, but the rest of me wanted to just fall right back into my addiction, mainly because it had always been the easy way out for me. Lyla sat with me in silence for a few hours, I had nothing to say and mainly just cried, her just being there was nice, and without her I would have no one. After a while all I said to her was "I'm not doing it, I'm going home right now, I would rather die then face this”… she grabbed my hand and said exactly what i needed to hear "its good to be scared, it means you still have something left to loose".. At a point when I felt like I had nothing left to live for, she somehow made me realize I did, I had a bright future ahead of me somewhere. She held me in her arms the entire drive to rehab, I got out of the taxi and she got out right after me, gave me a huge hug and said "you can do this, I know you can, it would mean the world to me if you got sober, and it will change your life forever, I promise you this. I love you" on my 4th day of rehab, I get the most terrible call of my life, but one that will change my life forever. Lyla Passed away on March 7th 2011 in a terrible car accident. I wish I had the opportunity to thank her for everything she did for me, I wish she knew how grateful I am to have met her and for everything she did for me, I wish she knew how much I admire her and aspire to change someone’s life the way she changed mine, I wish she knew so many things that I never got a chance to tell her. She is absolutely my guardian angel and thanks to her today I have 5 months sober.
2 Comments
  1. Snowbird 10 years ago

     Wow! What strength you have found in such a painful time of your life. I admire your courage, getting clean in the wake of a terrible tradegy is amazing and not everyone does it. Live just for today and you will stay clean. Keep up the good work!

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  2. jjrocksarizona 10 years ago

    this is a great example of active addiction andhaving a loving friend to care for you when you could not take care of yourself. i am so very sorry you lost your friend. but to honor her memory prove yourself wrong and realize that you can get and stay clean. i recently celebrated 22 years clean. no it has not been easy but it is a hell of a lot better than where i was all those years ago. i was an active addict for 22 years. keep going to meetings, find a good person to be your sponsor and work the 12 steps. getting that first 1 year chip is the hardest one. but there is a wonderful person inside of you just waiting to break out and share your experience, strength and hope. remember that recovery is a journey not a destination and use the rest stops God provides along the way.

     

    NA hugs,

     

    JJ

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