Well, i basically got confirmation on Saturday of one of my fears:  my late-daughter’s fiancee is still using (or is having a rougher time getting/staying clean).  He’s also lost his job.  When i first got there late Saturday morning, and his father was texting with him (i believe), he got really upset and wanted me to leave–before he got there.  Yes, i know Gabe is his son, but i am also his grandmother, and all i was trying to do was meet and visit with him a bit…..with or without the others there.  i was definitely on a “mission” and i was not leaving until i spoke my mind, either.   Since i’d brought a few things for Gabe, as well as a few non-perishables (just in case they needed some food–you never know), i asked Gabe to help me grab the things in the car and come back inside.  Well, once he finally came outside, he kept going around me, tossing pine cones at my legs, before he went back inside—nope, no helpin me.  By that time, his dad (Anthony) had gotten back from wherever he’d gone, and was inside the house.  It still amazes me how people can’t understand how i am, really….  Is it really that odd for someone to speak their mind and mean what they say?  Keep their word on what they promise?  Heck, even give a care about someone other than themselves?  —It saddens me, but i know this is also most people’s reality.  Of course i’ve been upset for a while now….  The mess they spewed in court and then the way they all have behaved, since….  It has really been hard to keep going, especially with all the emotional distance i’ve had to deal with, concerning my kids, and now Gabe, as well.  But, i’ve had to keep trying to hope that wouldn’t always be the case.  Honestly, i don’t know if anything WILL change, but i have to HOPE Anthony gets his head out of his butt and gets a clue, so both of his kids will have a father and not just a sometime-stand-in-dad.  He said he had no idea how to go about asking for assistance, since he has no income coming in, at the moment, and is a single parent, obviously.   So, i told his dad to have him call me later, so i could hopefully, get him started in the right direction.  i’ll admit, too, that i was pretty shocked by the house where they live.  i get it though:  2017 was one hell of a year–and not in a good way.  Not only did Shelby die in the home–upstairs, in their bed–but, Anthony’s mother died in the home, three months later–different reasons.  Tony–Anthony’s father–explained how things have been going, for him, and is determined to start working on cleaning up the chaotic mess.  Anthony said he wants it done, already, but still can’t go into ‘that’ room.  *sigh  i didn’t push.  i’ve wanted to see that place, for a while now, and to just see if there’s any ‘connection’ in that room–but, i didn’t want to push my luck or press too hard.  All in all, though, it was a decent visit and i hope they have a bit more understanding, now.  Anthony even admitted to me–finally–that he was my ex and his parents’ pawn in court.  –Yes, i knew that, but sometimes, confirmation helps make it a reality, instead of just an idea.  Ya know, both of my grandmothers were alive when i was very young–until i was around 8.  And, regardless of what was going on, when i was Gabe’s age, i still don’t remember ever fighting to go and visit either of them (as in not wanting to go).  When Gabe refused to come over to me for a simple hug, when i was getting ready to leave, Anthony simply told him he was going to call my ex.  Gabe’s attitude went in another direction, totally.  He basically just lay down flat and said, “No.”  Then, he came over, acting like he was going to give me a hug, and just propped against me.  LOL  It didn’t dawn on me at the time, but that’s exactly the same way his mother was, towards her dad, when she was little.  She was not a huggy-holdy person.  Now that i’m thinking about it, that is toooo funny!!!   And, it makes sense.  We haven’t made any other plans, as of yet, but i really hope this wasn’t the only visit.  

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