It's incredibly frustrating how OCD gets in the way of almost every aspect of your life. My irrational germophobia doesn't let me enjoy being close to someone. Even my familyisn't safe from it. I can hug my parents if I feel like they're dirty, sweaty or contaminated and I just dislike being touched all together. My last relationship suffered because of this – always enduring a hug or a snuggle as if it were some un-holy torture. Now I have an opportunity to go out with a really great girl. I feel like I can be myself around her, she doesn't mind my quirks, and she accepts my personality. Her family is just as accepting and love qualities of me that my own parents hate. But my OCD gets in the way for several reason. First off, she was dumped by her boyfriend – a friend of mine from highschool. Its been a little over a month now, but still – I'm not sure what to do. Do I go out with my friends ex? I'm not a big fan of the friend anymore since before the breakup. He started acting like a real asswipe and the way he handled the breakup just solidified it. I have a bad case of the "what if?" "What if it doesn't work out?" "what if she can't do a long distance relationship while I'm at school?" "what if its all just a rebound thing and she doesn't actually like me?" – which leads me to: "why would she like me? I'm a miserable person. I'm quirky, depressing, awkward and strange. Yea she accepts it now, but give it time, she'll hate you."
And on top of all of this, she is a hugger. A snuggler. How can I do this? I really don't want to lose this opportunity. she's a really great person andI don't want to let her slip away because of my stupid OCD!