soooo i was thinking a lot like usualy cos i always think too much and i was thinking how the dr said i need to start finding a way to relax or ill end up in the hospital and blah blah.  i need a sign on my back, i need someone to help me stick it there, bright neon letters, in two or more words that explain my life. which is impossible of course because one day of my life lately seems like eternity (not that i would know what eternity is like, but i have my suspicions) speaking of suspision damn i cant figre out how to spell it, i keep almost hitting butterflies in my car…. i know it sounds weird but weird things always happened on the island.. i even hit a rolling coconut once in my old car…. but thats besides the point.. i always ALMOST hit these butterflies. and its been like, five of them that i almost but didnt hit. weird right? well now im freaking out about what might happen if i DO hit one. on top of everything else… i really dont wanna end up in the hospital because of all this bs, theres only a few weeks left of school so its crunch time, and my physical therapy is KILLING me (literally) my drs are just llike "breathe through the pain" well WHAT IF THE PAIN IS 24/7???!? how the hell do they expect me to recover all over, if they dont let me recover from the last session. i have to go every other day and it is killing me, its fking up my education and my life. on top of it all, i gotta watch out for my cousin cos her brother scares me and her whole family has a "inside joke" about her being fat… shes 123 lbs and 5'4… so now shes getting beat up by her brother AND picked on >< wtf ok. my head is killing me and i managed to get 1/5th of my first final paper done… im gonna try and stop my body from this "overdrive" the drs are talking about.. my cousin told me yesterday when i went to therapy "hope you dont die! lol"  yeah well me either..