I feel like a child when I get so overwhelmed that I quit my job. Incidentally, that\'s exactly what happened. I worked at a factory that produces envelopes and I was an operator. Basically my job was to check the envelopes for any flaws and report the flaws to the adjuster, the mechanic of the machine, and he\'d adjust the machine so the error would be fixed. The problem with this is youll have times when your adjuster thinks the flaw isn\'t anything to worry about when infact it is something that needs to be fixed. When there is a discrepency like that the only way to cover your ass is to have them sign an envelope showing that they said it was okay. That is incredibly anxiety provoking for me to do because I\'m afraid of offending the adjuster. Along with that there is also a form of joking that most males like to do that gets me upset. I can\'t tell if people are being serious or joking most of the time and feel like I\'m defective. I\'d miss a lot of work because of this and yesterday I finally just quit because I got incredibly overwhelmed. I was on a new machine with a new adjuster on Monday and couldn\'t understand why I was on a new machine. When I asked my new partner in crime to sign off on my envelopes he said no and acted like it was a big deal. Trying to play along, I said, \”you know just because you are new doesn\'t mean you have to take it out on me.\” He then replied, \”give me one reason not to.\”. I couldn\'t tell if he was joking or not. I jus stood there befuddled until he smiled and said, \”that\'s what I thought.\”. I was deeply purturbed by this and walked over to my old machine to ask my old adjuster why he switched me. He said, \”I just couldn\'t deal with the stress.\” Meaning that I was too stressful because I can be very maticulous and emotional at times. When he said that I went straight to the production managers office and said I quit. I don\'t know why I let things like this bother me so much. I\'ve always felt social interactions overstimulated me, but now I can\'t even keep a job. I came home hysterical and called my boyfriend saying I had quit. I became suicidal real fast and had a horrible night. Does anyone else find social interactions to be so hard that it affects their lives like this? I only have two or three friends and basically hang out with only one of them. He just happens to be my boyfriend. When I can\'t see him I just drink alone on the weekends to kill the loneliness. I find it hard to develop much of a self esteem when I\'m like this and I\'m slowly drowning in my own life. I guess I\'m blogging about this experience because I\'d like to see if anyone else struggles in a similar way. This would make me feel like I\'ve got others out there that are still fighting the good fight like I am. If you\'re out there please tell me some of your struggles if you can relate and empathize with me.
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