Today I was training the two girls they gave me at work to train in our department.I started the training on Monday,and its been a big undertaking.Talking,talking,printing handouts,explaining,answering questions.I usually just like to sit at my desk and do my work without being disturbed and just do my thing.No chance of that now.My boss came up to me and said" you are talking too loud,can you go in another room to train them?" I said no,Ill just keep my voice down.I cant show them the computer in another room,"I felt like saying,look I dont even want to do this.But I cant say that.I feel so frustrated at work,I dont mind my job,its better than what some people have,but lately I just want to take time off and go on a long long holiday.My friend was loking at cruises in the paper,and I imagined being on a cruise,just looking out to sea on a warm balmy night and feeling peaceful.Man I would love that so much,but Im scared we would sink and I cant swim lol.At least when we finished for the day,one of the girls said thanks for your help today,you really are a great instructor.It did make me feel good,I must admit.It really is cool when someone acknowledges your hard work and gives you a genuine compliment.Its like gold really,its good for the soul.Especially when u feel they are telling thetruth not just saying it to be polite.But when i got home I felt annoyed at whet my boss said,told my best friend and he said you always get pi$$ed off at stupid small things.I wanted some support when I got home,so that was the last thing I wanted to hear.Its surreal really to be training people at work considering 6 years ago I was on the dole ,virtually homeless,totally broke and in a really bad way .I didnt think I ever work again,it seemed like a dream for other people ,not me,to be a "normal"person with a job.But Im not a normal person,but I have a half decent job.And Ive held it down for 6 years.In really difficult circumstances too,with no one to help at all.No one,apart from my friend of 20 yrs,but even he is no help at all sometimes,so its been  just me and the bad things of life for a long time.But I hung in there and kept my job.Im even really good at it,So I guess thats something.But I want a holiday so bad.I have not had a holiday for 23 yrs,and even that was just a week in Bali.I guess its only me who can make that happen.