I am new here to this site. I have been so down in the dumps. I feel like I am going thru the motions of life….. Only doing what I truly have to do. Last year I had a heart attack and it really put me into a "funk" which I have not yet come out of. Really made me step back and think why do I do anything that I do…. what is life all about??? I feel paralyzed with fear that anything that I do will be the wrong thing. I have been stressing myself out which is not good for my heart. I am 47 years old and I am afraid to do anything. I have no confidence in anything that I do. This is a bad place to be. I have 2 children a 15 year old boy and 12 year old girl. My daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. Also, my husband has a no schedule job – inwhich he is on call 24 hrs a day – 7 days a week. This also makes life crazy. He receives a phone call and has to be at work within 2 hrs of which he has a 1 hr drive. I always thought that the schedule of his would get easier to life with as life went on. However, it doesn't. My job is stressing me out too. I work for two sisters that are very spoiled and make life almost unbearable at work. The only reason I stay there is the part time schedule would be hard to find anywhere else, the hourly rate is decent and it is located 5 minutes from my house. However, I sometimes wonder if it is worth the extremely stressful atmosphere there. My doctor doubled the medication I am on (Effexor) and it caused me to gain 25 lbs. When I realized that – I dropped myself back down to 1/2 the dose. I am sure that is what made me sink lower into this bout of depression. I have now started taking the increased dose again and am hoping that this bout of "doom and gloom" will lift. In addition to being depressed – I am also very anxious and worried. I do not like the financial position that my husband and I have gotten ourselves into. His income has dropped significantly and it has really put a financial burden on us. We let somethings go at the holidays so that we could continue to exchange, etc. the same way that we always have. As a result we are robbing peter to pay paul now and are really strapped now. living on a shoestring…. I feel like I cannot stop thinking about any of this and I am consumed with fear. I am driving my husband crazy. He is able to be more optimistic about things than I am. I keep telling myself that things will get better and that there are other people who have things way worse than I do. But none of this is calming my fears and anxiety. I worry about everything, finances, children – my childrens social standing, what I say to people, what people think of me and my family, I literally worry about anything and everything. Well now that I have rambled on and on, does anyone have any ideas about how to make the worry stop……
-
None
hope2be, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Relationships, Suicide, 1
I've been married for five years now. I'm not sure if I have ever been happy of not? We...
-
Today
Tara1224, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Grief, Medication, Sleep Disorders, Stress, Suicide, Weight Loss, 0
I'm not quite sure about how I feel today. I woke up (still drunk from the night before) feeling...
-
Almost burnt the kitchen down
GetBetter, , Depression, Relationships, 0
Tonight was actually a bad night so far, no, that's a lie, it's not a good night, it's not...
-
An Introduction
MyNameIsAlex, , Depression, LGBT, Anxiety, Depression, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, Questions, Sex Therapy, Suicide, 3
As my username displays, my name is Alex. I am a pansexual trans guy with severe depression and crippling...
-
Why I’m a Black Space
blankspace, , Anxiety, Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Personality Disorder, Relationships, Sex Therapy, Sexual Abuse, Therapist, Therapy, 0
When I was 9 years old I was taken away from my mother because she was and is a...
-
Thanks for nothing.
xillah, , Depression, Chronic Pain, Grief, 0
Tonight–a mere 10 days before my re-enrollment deadline–I came to find out that J.C. Macydale's is dropping their part-time,...
-
Name Change and other things…
Evelyn, , Depression, Depression, 0
I used to be known here as "Gata_sin_luna" and I changed it to use my real name, which is...
-
Is this depression?
Kirstie05, , Depression, Career, Depression, Medication, OCD, Self Esteem, Sex Therapy, 0
I've been diagnosed with depression before, but always had been able to find happiness in the little things. Sure,...