How is it that someone "comes to terms with their own death" ?
How are you suppose to be okay with the fact that at any minute you can just die.
I understand that death is a natural thing of life. you live. then you die.
and even better.. how am i suppose to be okay with this considering my anxiety makes me feel constantly like im dying?? As is me nor does anybody else knows when its going to be my time to go.
i think what scares me the most when i have my attacks is that i cant tell reality from the fiction my brain is sending through my body.
It seems the more i pray the more my prayers go unanswered. I've tried. I've put fourth my effort to make myself better. the harder i try the worse i get. Im absolutely at a stand still.
im sliding backwards.. each day i have to force myself out of bed..i make myself leave my apartment.. i sleep all the time.. part of me wants to think my depression is whats setting me back.. i've lost all motivation.. but as fustrated as i am with my life i have NEVER thought or tried to hurt myself in anyway..
i just need to rant.. i know im suppose to be happy..hell im gettin married in october.. im with a very amazing guy and he understands wat i go thru since he once suffered from severe depression. i honestly considered commiting myself just so i can rant like this.. just to get help because my physchiatrist is mildly worthless.. all she wants to do is give me medication and send me home.. and so far no good..its more than jus taking medication..
i really appreciate all the support i get on here. you guys help me out so much. and i hope that i can help some of you.. all i've ever wanted to do in life is to help others. i've always put other before me.. maybe thats my problem.. i need to focus more on making me better than satisfying everyone else.. but who knows…..