I’m 33, I’m an IT Sysadmin, guess that makes me a geek. I’m currently living in Huntsville, AL. I moved to the UK in a manic state, didn’t take everything into consideration, anything really. Basically my life had been on cruise control, everything seemed to flow proper. Then my grandfather died, my brother stayed with me for 3 weeks binge drinking non-stop during his discharge, Deborah left me due to my self-destructive behavior afterwards (I guess I emulated his behavior, in response to my grandfathers death) and I lost my job all within 6 months time. I had a great job opportunity as a project manager for the 2010 census, and I walked away from it. I ran to what I thought was a golden opportunity of life in the UK. I ran away from it all… I was in the UK on a 6 month visitor visa, no access to work or benefits. That was brilliant. I was headed down a steep slope, felt out of control, and moved back to the states to get better. Now here I sit with nothing but my clothes, this Mac, and my family to keep me company. Looking for work thus far has been interesting. I’m tired a lot of the time, my sisters kids are a bit overwhelming (I haven’t seen my sister in 12 years). I had anxiety this past Friday, there were 9 kids in this house (her kids invited their friends over for a sleep over) too much noise and activity (after 10 years of peace and quiet in Seattle, this is a drastic change for me to adjust too). I spent 3 days laid out on the sofa, not willing to move, the heat outside was oppressive, so I had no place to escape too (I am too acclimated to the cold wet of the Pacific Northwest, and well London). I need to get back into the flow of life, I am honestly afraid of how I’ll react, while at the same time I’m looking forward too it. Alabama is a slower pace of life, cost of living is 40% lower than Seattle, I can make as much as I did, and keep more of it. The tech sector is 5 minutes away (NASA, Lockheed, Boeing, etc) so there are prospects. I come on DT these days and don’t have the energy to help others like I used too, and can’t be bothered to ask others for help. That saddens me. There’s no PBS here to speak of. I miss NOVA Tuesdays… Bah! 🙂 I’ll update my blog as things occur or hopefully progress. For now I only have this update to provide.
I’ve had time to think on things…
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Keep fighting
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Take a breath
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Depression
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Oh just bitching here
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Its been awhile since I have writen a blog on here. Most of the time I like to read...
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Abusive babysitters!!!
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When my brother and I were kids we lived in Salt Lake City. My mom and dad both worked...
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Ashamed
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Well today has been the first time i have thought of hurting myself in a year. I feel so...
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Dont know what to do
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i really hate the holidays why do we need them. They make so many problems at least for me...
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Why must I obsessively contemplate this?
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I saw my counselor on the 12th and I think I made a little progress. I go back on...


Sorry to hear the UK didn’t work out for you, but atleast you took the chance, that’s more than a lot of people would do. 🙂