I’m 33, I’m an IT Sysadmin, guess that makes me a geek. I’m currently living in Huntsville, AL. I moved to the UK in a manic state, didn’t take everything into consideration, anything really. Basically my life had been on cruise control, everything seemed to flow proper. Then my grandfather died, my brother stayed with me for 3 weeks binge drinking non-stop during his discharge, Deborah left me due to my self-destructive behavior afterwards (I guess I emulated his behavior, in response to my grandfathers death) and I lost my job all within 6 months time. I had a great job opportunity as a project manager for the 2010 census, and I walked away from it. I ran to what I thought was a golden opportunity of life in the UK. I ran away from it all… I was in the UK on a 6 month visitor visa, no access to work or benefits. That was brilliant. I was headed down a steep slope, felt out of control, and moved back to the states to get better. Now here I sit with nothing but my clothes, this Mac, and my family to keep me company. Looking for work thus far has been interesting. I’m tired a lot of the time, my sisters kids are a bit overwhelming (I haven’t seen my sister in 12 years). I had anxiety this past Friday, there were 9 kids in this house (her kids invited their friends over for a sleep over) too much noise and activity (after 10 years of peace and quiet in Seattle, this is a drastic change for me to adjust too). I spent 3 days laid out on the sofa, not willing to move, the heat outside was oppressive, so I had no place to escape too (I am too acclimated to the cold wet of the Pacific Northwest, and well London). I need to get back into the flow of life, I am honestly afraid of how I’ll react, while at the same time I’m looking forward too it. Alabama is a slower pace of life, cost of living is 40% lower than Seattle, I can make as much as I did, and keep more of it. The tech sector is 5 minutes away (NASA, Lockheed, Boeing, etc) so there are prospects. I come on DT these days and don’t have the energy to help others like I used too, and can’t be bothered to ask others for help. That saddens me. There’s no PBS here to speak of. I miss NOVA Tuesdays… Bah! 🙂 I’ll update my blog as things occur or hopefully progress. For now I only have this update to provide.
I’ve had time to think on things…
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Who am I?
snowdreamer, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Sleep Disorders, Stress, 2
Well I'm not sure why I'm here but I thought maybe writing would help me understand. I have no...
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The Beginning of Pain
LPhantom3, , Depression, Child, Domestic Abuse, Obesity, Relationships, 0
November 4, 1996, the day everything began for me. The pain, loss, suffering all of them had never crossed...
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No wondar i have problems
Purpleclouds, , Depression, Child, 0
no wondar i am soo messed up. my family has done so much to me that i have always...
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Whats the point?
wonderland1155, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Questions, Stress, 0
its been a few days since i wrote. the last time i got on was 11/13 friday night to...
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Resenting my past…
mandy86, , Depression, Anxiety, OCD, Relationships, Stress, Therapist, 0
I hate it. not my past but the fact I was so happy and enjoying life and how I...
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Setting Goals
Ghostgirl, , Depression, Career, Depression, 0
I can't remember if I mentioned this or not but that guy finally added me and so now I...
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None
GetBetter, , Depression, Career, 1
I had a dream last night that was really weird. I was in the army and I got loaded...
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Bienvenidos a mi vida.
MaddyBear8, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, 1
I sometimes think that we as human beings are socialized to be subconsciously self-destructive. We are never allowed to...


Sorry to hear the UK didn’t work out for you, but atleast you took the chance, that’s more than a lot of people would do. 🙂