Im not sure what to do i feel like the new boyfriend i have i got just to forget about my painful memories. I was with this guy named Cameron for a while after i broke up with my other ex Jason, they were friends which is how i met Cameron because i was with Jason first which i know sounds a little messed up that i would be with my ex’s friend but its even more messed up what my ex Jason did to me he cheated on me with a little 15 year old girl. Anyway Cameron knew of this and he supposedly loved me which is why when i found out about it he would secretly comfort me behind Jason’s back and tell me that he loved me and blah blah blah, obviously he wasnt a very good friend. Anyway i soon started to fall in love with Cameron too like he said he was with me so when i started to fall in love with him i knew we were great for each other cuz we were both in love with each other. Anyway we were together for a while and until this day i cannot say i have ever loved a man as much as i love him even though we arent together anymore, i never even loved Jason as much as i loved Cameron and i still do to this day even though its been almost a year since we broke up. When Cameron broke up with me i fell to pieces and i feel like im still broken even though ive been aable to lift myself up a little bit i feel like im still broken, he broke my heart so bad that i cant get over him even though there is a new man in my life his name is Franco and just 2 months ago i felt like i was totally in love with him i even wrote a blog about it when i first got with him and for the 1st month or so i was on top of the world i felt like i had found the man of my dreams only to go back to thinking about Cameron who i still adore to this day. I dont know how i feel about Franco its so mixed everyday i mean one day ill feel like i really really love him and other days ill think to myself "what am i doing with this guy"? i mean i dnt think any other guy ive been with has loved me as much as Franco does and I know he doesnt deserve to get his heart broken but i just dont know how i feel about him anymore, i mean i know that im never going to get back with Cameron cuz i dnt think that he ever loved me but i still feel so strongly about him that i dnt know what to do, i love Cameron and i dnt think that feeling will ever go away because its been there so long. I feel stupid because i love someone that doesnt love me and broke my heart but i cant love a man that loves me and goes out of his way 4 me every single day. He helps me when i need him he takes care of me when im sick he tells me he loves me evry single day but somehow that isnt enough, Im just not sure what to do or think.
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Just thinking out loud…
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