I want to appologize to everyone! I have not been myself lately. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I was gone for a few weeks, as i had alot going on with my family, and myself , and I started coming back in to DT a couple days ago, and I can’t seem to get back into it. I am just miserable and I can’t even put it into words at the moment, and I know I am frusterating everyone including myself! please just know that it is all my problems, and nothing to do with anyone here. I am completely overwhelmed and I don’t know what to do, i try and get my head out of my ass and be my "normal" self and try an have a good time despite the utter mess my life is in, and i get sucked right back down in a matter of seconds! what the helll is wrong with me??? what can i do??? i have always somehow managed to get through things, but this time it’s just different somehow, and i don’t know why…i’m so friggin confused. i forget the smallest things everyday that just used to come natural to me… i literally have to think about what my own name is sometimes! When is this gunna end, when am i gunna feel better, when am i not gunna hurt so damn bad…i’m sick of crying, i’m sick of feeling useless, i’m sick of feeling ugly and worthless, i’m just sick of it all i guess. omg, i have just written a damn book, and i could go on, but for the sake of anyone who is reading this, i will shut up now. Thanks for listening to me blow off some steam, to those who even bothered going past the first line. I love each and every one of you here, and i am glad to have had this oppertunity to write my first blog…don’t know how it all works, but what the hell, i tried, right?  I also wanna let everyone know that the messages in my inbox and comments are still there…i am not ignoring anyone, i will get to them soon, i promise. i thank those of you who were concerned and did write. your friendship means the world to me! I’m lucky to have dt, i don’t know what i would do without you guys! well, guess i will see you in chat, as i will try an go in  to get a few hugs