I havent been on in a while I hope everyone is doing alright?!
I am having a rough night. I dont know how many of you have read my previous blogs so ill recap. Back in september my best friend of 11 years decided she couldnt put up with my shit any more. I have depression anxiety and a sever overthinker.
Well I have been doing better I feel myself getting stronger and changing some of the bad habits that caused some of my other issues in the first place. It has been five months and I really miss my friend. You know as they say its not official until its on facebook well she even went so far as to delete and block me and all of my family on facebook.
The thing that really hurts me the most is the fact that she has seriously hurt my children especially my oldest daughter. My daughter has said to me mommy doesnt she love us any more? and recently she said to my mom " Gramma she broke my heart!" It brings tears to my eyes. I told my daughter she could write her a letter if she wants but she said she is scared that she will just return the letter like she has done to me.
I really would like to send her a letter and hope that she isnt being childish and would actually read the thing instead of sending it back. Then I thought id wait until her birthday in april and send her a birthday card with a letter. But then her and her husbands anniversary is coming up in april so i made them a anniversary card and was gonna send it but now im rethinking this.
God i hate this I have never really been such good friends with someone to lose them like this. I actually always kind of kept myself distant because i was scared of being hurt and now I am hurt any way. I am scared this is going to affect my daughter in a bad way and I dont wnat her to have trust issues in the future because an important person in her life up and left her. ( this person is also her and her brothers god mother and her husband their godfather).
I have asked several of my newer friends and some of them say hell no she left your life your better off. But then others are telling me i should contact her. She was always like a sister to me and I am still really bitter over a lot of this that she would rather be friends with someone who uses her then with me who was always there for her with all of her issues.
I dont know what is your opinion contact her or dont contact her. should I let my daughter write to her?