unfortunately my computer decided to be lovely and freeze constantly lastnight so i didnt get any of the replies to my blog or my outburst on the group… but they gave me a few tears this morning ( well technically its 4 in the afternoon but whos keeping track haha) and thankyou so much.. its extremely comforting to come online and see that i have 11 notifications of people who wanted to reply to what i had to say and how i was feeling and took the time to care about me. ( kinda makes me wanna cry again haha geez i need to stop being such a basketcase today haha) and yeah i know i should go to a doctor and try anti depressents again or counselling but its just hard cause sometimes i feel fine an that always seems to be the time i have the appt so i go in there happy as can be with nothing to say. and then its like 2 hours later im wishing i could be at counselling to talk! its ridiculous. and my last counsellor committed suicide and it was a really bad situation with his family and stuff and now its even harder to talk to counselors cause i feel like.. at any time u could start going through depression and or else its like.. when im feeling happy i can give myself advice.. be active.. be positive surround yourself with good uplifting people bla bla but then that feelings gone and i cant or wont make myself do any of it. grrrrrrr so frusterating . i just graduated and im working part time and even that feels like to much but i think maybe if i get a steady full time job and start having a regular routine again my life will kinda feel more put together and then i can start piecing myself back together? and maybe ill try the meds..is rather stay away from counceling, ive been taking like 5htp pills or w,e but i have a hard time doing it regularly so thatts no helping my case to much haha. ( im trying to reply a bit to everyones comments in this blog, if it seems to be all over the map thats why haha ).
-
Hollow self
Theonlyone, , Depression, Grief, Sleep Disorders, 0
The Hollow Men T. S. Eliot Mistah Kurtz—he dead. A penny for the Old Guy I We are the...
-
Ranting and Rambling
sadviolinist, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Grief, Sleep Disorders, Therapist, 0
Feeling a little sentimental today; guess that's no big deal. I'm also feeling down on myself because I was...
-
My Daily Struggle
buttercup7682, , Anxiety, Depression, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Medication, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 1
I’m tired of feeling like this. I’m tired of coming into work every single day, and feeling that tightness...
-
Magic
SorrowfulPoet, , Depression, 0
I paint with words upon a page with far more adept strokes than any brush I've ever wielded I...
-
MY Day
sadviolinist, , Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar, Personality Disorder, Sleep Disorders, Stress, Weight Loss, 1
It's cold and raining out. Fitting that I should be stuck inside the house on my first day of...
-
A Fair Week
Ophiicus, , Depression, Suicide, 0
It's been a quiet week. The PC is back up to full power after one or two hiccups on...
-
A bit of a rant
GetBetter, , Depression, Anger, Child, Relationships, Religion, 1
I was so angry because his mom still thinks that I'm lazy. She says that I'm being 'a white...
-
Sinking in again.
x10122007, , Depression, Addiction, Anger, Domestic Abuse, Obesity, Relationships, Stress, 0
I finally found a ticket that I thought I could afford but it doesn’t matter. It was $409 roundtrip...