Here we go again, it's 2:30 and I'm awake, pissed off, and torn between yelling and bawling my eyes out.

Everyone basically ignored me today. I somehow managed to come away from it feeling relatively okay. I even fell asleep for a little while.

Then I woke up at 1:45, I have no idea why. I just did. So I logged online and long story short, I was in a fight with my boyfriend 45 minutes later because he apparently "hates morbidity".

Oh, I am so sorry for joking around about wanting the nickname "ghostgirl" on my tombstone when I die because no one pays attention to me. Apparently, mentioning death completely angers and upsets him because "maybe I'm not all freakin rainbows and shit about depressing crap like you are".

He then called me bitter and I called him a jackass. So he logged off right there on the spot. He knows that he causes me anxiety when he does that but he doesn't care. He's a selfish little prick anymore so he loves making me freak the fuck out.

I got so pissed off that I logged onto his account and removed myself from his friends list. Then I removed him from mine and blocked him. I just want everyone to leave me the fuck alone. I am tired of people coming to me when they need something and then ignoring me the rest of the time. Oh, you need me to help you order something online? You need me to look something up for you? You need to cry on my shoulder? Well fuck you. All of you. Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. Stupid fucking selfish pricks.

And this is after I listened to the selfish princess bitch about his Mom and his job for 20 minutes on the phone. That's all we've talked about for months, his horrible family, his horrible life, his anxiety attacks, his job, his financial problems, etc.. Nevermind that most of that shit is his own fucking fault.

I fucking hate him. I fucking hate everything, I hate not having any help or anyone who cares. I hate that I'm going to spend the rest of the night crying now while he just plays videogames, how is that even fucking fair? :((