Well today has been the first time i have thought of hurting myself in a year. I feel so ashamed, i been so good and in control. I been keeping myself busy so i won't do anything to myself. Why is it so easy to say hey i feel so normal when i wanna hurt myself then rather then say hey i wanna feel happy today and do something productive. It kills me to hear the song from Pink "Family Portait" I think i of all the hurt i caused my kids. I am just glad i didn't damage them. I am glad i made the hard choice to give them to there dad's before i messed up there childhood. I just felt i wasn't a good mother and i still don;t no matter what i do. As i sit here crying right now i think how i just wish i didnt have this stupid illness. WHY ME! I been doing so good why now after a year of being so good i have to hit a low. I miss having someone i can love around me. I don't think anyone will ever trust me to be there wife or gf. It's been a hard 2 years being alone. I never been on my own before i have always have someone next in line waiting to be my bf. I dk maybe thats my problem. Alot of people ignore me now and i think it's crappy of them to that to me. I am always there for them and when i really need them, they are nowhere to be found. They make excuses why they dont text me back or pick up there phone. Geez just tell me the truth i will respect you more for telling me the truth then rather you lie to me. Sometimes i just wanna tell them you don't owe me anything so why don't you just leave and don't worry about it. Well thats all for now thanks for listening i feel better.
-
Relationships
Sadaco, , Depression, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Therapist, 1
Ok – so my relationship with my husband is strained. My family relationships are strained. My relationship with my...
-
A mixture of my mind!..
naomijane, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Stress, 1
Decided i'm going to try and write more regular blogs now after my kind responders last time 🙂 and...
-
3/15/15
ArielAngel, , Depression, Career, Depression, Medication, Relationships, Sex Therapy, Sleep Disorders, Stress, 2
Today was my 1st day off in two weeks, and I did nothing. I went and got my mom...
-
11.
StefaniePaige, , Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar, Child, Depression, OCD, Relationships, Stress, Therapy, 0
Just an update. Today I feel light. I feel pretty happy, well no. I don't necessarily feel happy I...
-
Addiction Issues
thebadkitty, , Depression, Addiction, Bipolar, Obesity, Religion, Sleep Disorders, Therapist, Therapy, 0
I want to go back to school. I want to do so many things. And, I know I can’t...
-
And, the day goes on…
thebadkitty, , Depression, 0
I finally saw Maria. She’s okay, but her life is a mess. Her family is in turmoil. Hopefully, she...
-
Hey doesn't anybody blog anymore?
Heather_Taylor, , Depression, Anxiety, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 0
Been away for a few months. I am surprised there are so few blogs! I am doing ok. Boyfriend...
-
Runners high
lookingforward, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Sex Therapy, Weight Loss, 0
Not much has changed since my last few blogs. I still haven’t made any new friends yet, I’ve been...
I thank you for taking the time and commenting on my blog. Yes, you are right i am a victim of abuse. I been abused by my mom and she was abused by her brother.It does feel natural to hate myself. Despite all what has happen to me i think i have done a great job and so with that i will continue to make the effort to a more healthy recovery. Thank you once again and Tc!