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Another Grey Day
sadviolinist, , Depression, Depression, Sleep Disorders, Therapist, Therapy, 0
The weather here is depressing. Doesn't help my depression at all; it makes it worse. I did leave the...
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The darkness is creeping up on me
PrincessBooballaPuke, , Depression, Forgiveness, 0
One of the most important lessons you learn when you forgive those who have hurt you is that, just...
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Haiti
LonelyFemaleForever, , Depression, Religion, 0
Im not doing good at this moment. But my sencire thoughts go to the people of Haiti who are...
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What do I do with myself……
snowdreamer, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Depression, 1
Well today is the first of the holidays for this season. First of all it's a bad time of...
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Blade
geminibrat36, , Depression, 0
cold, shiny, comforting. These are the words that run through my mind as I sit with my back against...
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The Truth
justin14, , Depression, Anxiety, 0
There I was. Sitting here in my favorite rocking chair, drinking water out of the "cup of lonliness" when...
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A poem about fall i guess
rottencandycane, , Depression, Child, Parenting, 0
I watched as my blood turned maroon to compliment the crimson hues in the sky My footprints leaked aromas...
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Hourglass of easy life!
hiltj4, , Depression, Child, 1
Well we went to the bank the other day to try to get things straightend out and they are...
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i hate it when people say "how have you been" as the introduction to every convo and then it's like you can't answer. You have to say something like "oh, rubbish really" then you can see in their face instantly they just don't have the energy for you or something, then they ask "why?" and the side of you comes out that you hate (like gollum from lord of rings), the self destructive side (which is the only side i can access) , and you hear yourself saying rubbish about yourself and the person just wants to get away.
i'm starting to hate myself so much.i can't stand myself.i never do anyof the things i want to do that are right infront of me. i waste all my and other peoples time. i'm the type of personality that i would absolutely loathe on another person. lazy, greedy, unproductive, effortless, boring,envious and self centred, even though i'm really nice and i want to do good in the world and i worry about everyone, i just spend all my time wallowing in my own rubbish self.
I don't want to be like this my whole life but i'm too scared to try incase i actually gain more hope (which is something i definately don't need) and i'm dissapointed. i'm not enjoying life enough (at all) to be in it. i'm scared of random things like getting a random heart attack or being stabbed or something, because that would really hurt and it would be rubbish, and theres no point living if theres nothing i want to live for and only these crazy horrible things happening every now and then that cause massive distress. i can't just be in the surviveing state anymore, i want to be in the living state, even if i'm not happy i just don't want to be surviving i want to be living and working through it.
i wish i had a depressed freind to talk to in real life, maybe i can't make freinds not because i'm depressed but because i'm just rubbish in general
i'm even rubbish on here. i never remember people, i just keep blogging assuming people wont want to be harassed by me but theres those freinds who take the effort to post birthday animations (thanks guys) on my wall and i don't even keep track of how they all are.
take care