Well, just when you didn't think things could get more complex, they do.

Sunday evening, my two year old began to wheeze and was having trouble breathing so a dash to the emergency room and an overnight stay in the hospital and she's slowly back on the mend with the outcome a viral upper resp infection.

Then there's the school stuff to deal with for our five year old daughter and my four classes besides working full time. My husband's back is still on the fritz. Then to top it off, my mother-in-law, who's living with us at our request due to wanting to make sure she's okay as she also has on going health issues, is leaning onus about money issues – she is helping us get through as with all unplanned medical issues – our budget has been coming up a bit short. I am doing everything I can to try to find a job closer to home and hopefully make more money at but with the economy, that might take awhile to happen. And to keep things on acivil level, I bite my tongue and don't point outthathershopping habitsare pricier than mine aresosome of the'help'is really her doing. When you give someone a gift,it's your treat, not something that is included in the 'monthlyhousehold contribution'.

All my life I have bottled up a lot of emotions and allowed them to slowly eat me up. I just findmyself looking for someplace to just break down and cryit all out as I'monly one person and I have feelings, needs and wants and being a mom/wife/daughter-in-law find that Ijust keep giving everything while getting little back in return. I don't do what I do to get anything back but it would be nice toget some credit forwhat I do do. I can't break downwhere anyone would see me as it would annoy my husband, my girls wouldn't understand(ages 2 and 5 after all) and likely would tellmy husbandand more flax, and my mother-in-law wouldn't understand and would likely blame her son and cause strife in that arena. So I find myself on my hour long commute sometimes with tears streaming down my face only to quickly wipe my facehalfway homeand try tobottle itall back up so that no one can tell what is really going on.

My sleep is shattered at best with all the stress and events of the last few weeks and I'm feeling less able to control depression. Mybody is beginning to feel the stress asdaily now I just plain ache.

Theonly way I keep going is I tell myself it has to get better andjust take it one day ata time. Money is only an objectandas long as one has their family, they can make it through anything – though thislast one is being sorely tested.

As I pondered what I wrote I can't help but wonder if I'm being a drama queen.  I'm the center of my own little world and it's hard to see outside of it sometimes.