I don't know what it is about the night but I feel creative, , and even go as far as making plans for changing my life on the next day but as soon as I wake up I feel like I have no motovation like I had last night. It really makes me mad, because I go to bed thinking that I will carry out whatever plans I devised for the following day and then morning comes, all the positive thoughts are gone and a sudden rush of fear and anxiety hit me all at once. It's frustrating. I always thought I was alone, but talking and reading I now know I am not alone, even though at times I feel it. Growing up I always hated mornings, I always said I was not a morning person. I use to sleep in late just to avoid that morning feeling, but it did not help when I woke it was there. As the day went on my moods improved. I also find that sunlight plays a part in my moods, the more sun the more positive I feel. It is not a cure all but it helps. January and Febuary are my worst months I think because of the let down after the holidays and the winter months, cold and lack of sunlight. It hard for people to understand what you feel like unless they have gone through it themselves, they try to understand but unless they walked in my shoes they will not know. I have tried medcations over the years, it helps somewhat, but the mornings are the same with or without meds, it is an awful feeling of dread, then half way through the day leaves me only to return the next morning. Lately I have been doing a lot of writing hoping to sort out my feelings. At times it feels like we live in a box, perhaps of are own making. I find journaling helps, if anything it clears your head.