At this point I'm too tired to stay awake and still can't sleep, I'm just stuck in limbo/ dead / halfawake attempting to walk. My allergies are bad, I have small sinuses, so my head deals like it's being pushed on from the inside and my eyes have an incredible amount of pressure pushing on them from the inside. On the brighter side I've been put on a new medication that is ment for the add but it is a stimulant which is supposed to help with the depression. I've noticed I'm happier and getting through the day isn't a task I have to compleat and I'm just trying to get to the end of as fast as possible any more. I've been more optimistic, but I've also had less patience, especially for stupidity which it seems like I have to deal with way to often. Tomorrow I get to go and defend my commitment to what I want to do with the rest of my life for a scholarship, yay (sarcasm) . At this point is much rather tell anyone who says I'm not committed enough to go fuck themselves because they dont know anything about my current situation or the fact that as much as I would love to participate in their extracurricular activitys I can't, because I'm at work, because they dont pay me for being there, and I'm still broke and don't have a car, which I need considering I'm expected to be living on my own soon. This stress is killing me and when I started typing this I had no clue what it would be about, typing helps me think and I've realized some interesting things and I'm still gonna submit this because if anyone wants to leave feedback/ideas/comments that would be really cool.