All my life I have stopped to appreciate some thing that's breath takingly beautiful. whether it be a person, a stunning piece of landscape, an animal, the sun set, what ever it is, I take a moment to soak it in. I remember when I was a little girl, I went to Target with my sister Wendy and my niece. I was about 6 years old or so. We went to buy me a bathing suit because my mom neglected to pack one for my summer staycation at my sisters, out of state (honest mistake). While rummaging through the racks of bathing suits which most of them were way too revealing for a girl my age, I saw her. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen (it must have been prom night). Beautiful long black hair all perfectly curled with bouncy spirals. The type of soft luscious curls a girl would die for topped with a gorgeous tiara resting just on the top of her head. Her eyes as blue as the diamond necklace on the Titanic. So deep, so beautiful I couldn't help but stare. Her skin was flawless unlike mine, unfreckled, unscarred, radiant, almost as if she was painted. Airbrushed even. Her dress, long dragging behind her as she walked. Her smile was so delightful, as warm as a summer day. So welcoming, so enchanting. I remember just about every detail about her, even her scent, smelled of soft petaled roses. Here I am now,an adult, and fear that no one has ever stopped to soak in the sight of me. I grew up believing just about every attractive man, was out of my league. I wonder if any one thought I was out of their league? If I was too Pretty for them? If they rehearsed the lines they would say to me if they bumped into me in the halls? If I ever made some ones heart pump out of their chest because I spoke to them? Has anybody ever obsessed over me? Has any one ever had me as their “Dream Girl”. It's probably silly that a 26 year old woman, wonders these things. Well…. Welcome to depression. Your mind ponders silly things. Things that probably aren't even true. Or you probably are going through something and over think it. Instead of accepting the issue and actually solving it, you over think every move, every reaction, every word exchanged. The power depression can withhold on ones life can be diminishing, demolishing, and a total nightmare 24/7. Talk kindly to one with a mental illness of any sort. It takes a simple wrong jesture to set them off on a terrible storm. Be kind, calm the storm.
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In need of peace…
Vi03, , Anxiety, Depression, Anxiety, Depression, 0
Hello All, I guess I’ll start from the beginning. I was taking a nap in the evening before I...
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to not be me
delane1, , Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, OCD, Anxiety, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, 4
i feel as though i’m damned–no matter what choices i make. *sigh i don’t want to be some place...
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Boyfriend Issues pt. 2
BLeigh05, , Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, 0
OMG…so frustrated. I went by tonight so he could work on my car (mechanic) and had semi-high hopes that...
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Mood swinging
xillah, , Depression, Career, Religion, 0
Long and tiring night. I'm in a piss poor mood. I feel things pressing in on me more lately....
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Confused and restless and stuck in my head.
AloneForever, , Depression, Anger, Depression, Religion, Schizophrenia, Self Esteem, Sleep Disorders, 0
can't sleep. i'm not exactly angry but can't think of a word for how i feel. unsettled and uncomfortable...
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Just existing/mental OCD
TessErin, , Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Domestic Abuse, Personality Disorder, Questions, Relationships, Religion, Sex Therapy, Sexual Abuse, Therapist, 2
Sunday:The frustration I have been feeling lately has been turning into self-hatred. I am frustrated with myself because I...
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Clingy
Sanatee, , Anxiety, Depression, Relationships, Sex Therapy, 3
I am clingy. It is a cringey thing to think, but I absolutely am. I recognize it and I...
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Whatever works…
HaveaGoodDay, , Anxiety, Depression, Wellness Tips, Anxiety, Chronic Pain, Depression, Mindfulness, Therapist, Weight Loss, 2
Hi, I just wanted to share my experience and introduce myself to the community… I suffered from chronic anxiety...