It is with a heavy heart that I write about my cousin, Dana. She and her husband, Steven, have been battling her cancer for nearly 2 years. It was today that they decided to call in hospice care…Steven is my cousin by blood and Dana is not. But I've considered her my cousin since they got married. She is such a sweet person. And the thing that has opened my eyes the most is the fact she is only 24, 2 years older than me.
I'm trying not to be angry with God, like I was when my grandma was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer three years ago. But it's hard.
Dana is such a sweet person and she loves Hello Kitty…I gave her a Hello Kitty necklace the first Christmas she was with our family. I still remember it: the blue rope like cord had a Kitty bell dangling from it. The next Christmas, we all knew about her cancer by then, I gave her a Hello Kitty blanket to keep her warm.
Maybe I should explain why she's special to me. I have one girl cousin by blood and have always wanted another. When Steven got married, I couldn't have been happier. I said, "Alright!! Another girl in the family!!" I am happy to have her in the family.
As our family goes through this, I can't help but remember my grandma's battle with terminal lung cancer. She was diagnosed in July of 09 and passed away that October…Will Dana's case be like that? Will she suffer for a long time? I don't want to sound selfish or crude. I would like to see her. But what would I say? When we visited my dad's cousin in the hospital when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer, all I could do was cry while holding her hand. Can I be strong and not cry if I go see Dana? I don't know.
Anyway, that's all I can write for now. Not really feeling up to doing much. Not sure how I'm going to make it through two classes tomorrow 🙁