Let's face it…friends aren't always great listeners or knowledgeable advisors (although they may think they are). I know that it hurts for your concerns to be dismissed right off the bat. But, I don't get the impression this person deliberately meant to make you feel unheard and unheeded. Maybe she or he thought they were reassuring you, or maybe they have a need to be more “knowing”. So try not to let it bother you too much, in that sense. I don't think your candor is in any way hurtful to anyone… but I understand that concern…not knowing what battles any other individual may be going through. Idk! I think that your ambivalent feelings with respect to gender are a part of the great struggle, the ongoing, lifelong process of self-discovery. As a woman, I somehow believe many women encounter these feelings (at least I have). I really don't want to speak to the male perspective… I don't know personally about that. But as a woman, I say this is a process, an unfolding of the ” real” person. I do not know your personal outcome, I cannot predict… So many variables come into play, so many permutations of individual experiences and biological propensities are involved in the shaping and the “becoming” of every individual! But this is a part of life…I believe it is absolutely necessary for you to explore these feelings, in order to become the person you love and with whom you are truly comfortable! Never should you feel any shame for this, never should you feel alone in this, and never should you feel invalidated for pursuing self-understanding, self-acceptance, and growth as a person. The process must continue our entire lives… I don't feel one can cease to explore in some way, feelings and experiences, whether they be based on future hopes, past memories, or simply living in the moment, until the very essence of a life has gone.