The past few days have been a blur. I've been dealing with some seriously heavy duty revelations. I found out something so shocking,I don't wish to share it here. It took me almost two days to believe it could be real. All these years and I never knew. Others knew but I didn't. Then, 16 years later, I find out something so personal, so shocking. "That was long ago," they say when I brought it up today. Yes it was, but I never knew. What happened so long ago may be old news to you but it's recent news to me. "You shouldn't be upset about something that happened that long ago." I just found out. I made life decisions based on my belief in something that was not true.I'm upset. I feel betrayed.I based so much of my life on, what I now believe to be, a lie. Had I known the truth 16 years ago, so many things would be different now. I would have made different choices, different decisions. I feel so disrespected. I am so upset. I gave up 16 years of my life for someone who didn't respect me. In all these years, they never mentioned this. I found out through a mistake on their part. A slip.

At first they felt bad and accepted responsibility. Now they tell me I shouldn't be upset over something that happened that long ago. They are sorry it happened and that's all they can say. 16 years of my life gone, and all they can say is, "Sorry." A deliberatly selfish act, behind my back, 16 years ago, but I shouldn't be upset about it now because that was long ago.

So tired sometimes of the games, of the selfish acts over the years. Dealing with someone who will never take responsiblity for their actions.