I realized recently, or maybe not too recently, I am very routine oriented.  My mood is based on how much of my routine I stay within.  It's not really a step by step routine done the same way everyday but it does involve or include things I must do or accomplish to feel right for the day.  I work from home, so one of those things is to work. 

I have not been able to work.  It has only been one day, but it has really set me off.  My days are just not right and I am becoming irritable.

 I have found that through my work or in my work or while I work I can actually ignore my depression.  I just don't feel it so much as long as I have worked for the day.  I have a sense of accomplishment and that really does help against depression.  It's always just right there, off on the edges, but not quite able to take over as long as I am "productive".  

I'm not productive now and don't know when I will be able to be productive again.  My work requires sitting and currently I cannot sit comfortably for very long…I fell down the steps this weekend and hit my tail bone.  It's terribly bruised and still extremely sore if I sit incorrectly.  I have to sit at so many odd angles now that it is causing my lower back to be sore now.

I am extremely stubborn and really want to overcome this.  I think I will probably down some Tylenol and push through.  I cannot and will not and really do not want to go through another day of "nothing"… 


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