So all I want in my life right now is a family, husband that loves me with true love, a happy home, and a nice job. But I've been cheated on, abused emotionally, lied to, and used. I put up with that with Mike so I can enjoy the good days we have. He told me he wanted to get married and have a kid or two with me. We had a kid and then he broke off the engaement. He owes me $4000 and doesn't pay for his son but sees him all the time. When I was pregant the first time my parents were ashamed to let me out of the house and asked me not to tell anyone or wear maternity clothes. I felt alone. When I told my mother I was bi she siad it was just a phase and we never speak of it again. I had an abortion not by my choice and hate myself for it every day. I'm living my life how my parents want me to and so I am not happy. I want to either go to school full time or work full time. I can't do both like they want me to do. The stress of taking care of my son, going to school full time, and working full time has added up and caused a breakdown for me. I have no respect or personal space in my life and just want to be me. When I do that my parents ride me till I finally give in to what they want. I wish I could move out but I can't. I'm never going to get out of this life. I've been depressed since I was 12 or so and my parents never got me help. It took my sister dragging me out of the house to the hospital to get me help. I was told by the dotor that my life is just chaos. I agree and that was why before I got on my meds I tried to kill myself three times, cut myself, and drank everyday after my son was in bed. I now take meds for mod. to sever depression and generalized ang. disorder. I just want to get a better life so I can be happy with someone and be the best for my son.


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