So yesterday at counselling, George was asked if he believed our whole argument was 100% my fault.  He looked like he didn’t know how to answer, for a while.  The question had to be repeated multiple times. I just sat on the side, I’m sorry to say with a bit of a sarcastic smirk on my face, feeling like, ‘Yes, isn’t that what I’ve been pointing out all this time?’ But anyway.  I don’t want to get into all that, it’s private, but I just had to get that one thing out of my system.[br][br]And by the end George was saying he couldn’t live with someone who thinks it’s okay to blow up over things…to which I blew up, of course, but with good reason, saying, ‘Do you really think I’m on a waiting list for a therapist and reading all these psych books and Dialectical Behavioural Therapy workbooks because I think it’s all okay!?’ I feel like…not just George, but almost no one around me has a clue what I’m going through.  And it’s not because I don’t tell them. I mean, yes, I’ve stopped telling them now, but that’s only because so many of them have been so unreceptive at previous times, by now I feel like what’s the point?  No one’s interested. I see the sighs. I hear the protestations.  They don’t want me to ‘label’ myself, they can’t see that actually, in practise, amounts to saying they don’t want me to understand myself.[br][br]Okay, I’m actually in a good mood, I don’t know why I’m slipping into this pissed off moment, here.  Actually…no, I was feeling sad. Okay, yes, this is totally stupid, it’s because I realised I’m on the last book in a series I love and I will have to say goodbye to the characters after this.  I mean, really. So I enjoy being so unstable that I feel this sad just over finishing a book, right?  Because that’s such a lovely way to be? Like I really choose to be this way.[br][br]I’m just venting.  Really, I’m fine. I just needed to get that out, like I said.  Things are much nicer at home and I feel like there’s hope for progress with the counselling sessions, I've really needed that safe environment where I can get out all my anger and frustration and actually be heard out – and it’s already 2.10pm so I get to go home soon, which is always nice.[br][br]Oh, hey, World Mental Health Day is happening nearby me on Friday, so I’ve got the afternoon off to go to that – yay!  What I’m hoping is that I’ll find the Tourette’s group I’ve heard meets in that town, or something like that.  We’ll see. And fingers crossed my mom will be able to join me there and give me back my things I left at her house.  It’s been a real struggle trying to tell myself actually I look just fine without the curling iron and millions of facial cleansers.  Maybe I needed the sudden break from them…maybe it’s healing…I’d still rather have them back with me though!