Im so annoyed with this. For a few days I was feeling so much better. I wasnt having any anxiety/depression/irritability or ruminations. It was great. I thought maybe the meds were starting to finally work. Then for no reason at all, I woke up kind of irritable on Wednesday. This continued at work, where an ongoing issue started to really bother me (it usually does but some times worse than others.) This made me feel all "pissy" inside and I even ended up slightly snapping at a coworker/friend (she is a cause of the ongoing issue I mentioned.) I didnt feel anxious/depressed, just irritable and then started worrying about why I was feeling this way. Since then, I have been feeling slightly "blah" (not really depressed but kind of down.) I have started ruminating a lot about why I feel like this also. This has brought back some of the "What if its really bipolar" obsessions but theyre not as strong as usual and not really making me anxious (so the meds must be working to some extent.) I just dont understand this irritability though. This has been a problem for the last couple of years, which fuels the obsessions because I feel guilty over being so grouchy. Plus I dont understand why some days I feel fine and stuff rolls right off my back,and then other days I feel like Im "more prone" to being irrtiable. And Im not that way with everyone. It will be certain people/things that will really annoy me. I dont "lash out" or anything; mostly I just keep it inside. Still Im really quiet and I know people can tell Im in a bad mood. But occasionally, like the other day, I do end up saying something "snippy" to someone and then I feel bad. I dont know if this irritabilty is an OCD thing, an anxiety thing, a depression thing or none of them. Ive been taking the meds for last 5 weeks. I know it says it reaches it takes 5-6 weeks to show the full benefit. Theyre are Celexa 20 mg but I break them in half and only take 10mg. I think I may start to take the whole pill and see if that helps. 20mg is the starting dose anyway. We’ll see…
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Two observations: Yes, the Celexa dose is really low. Usually it’s in the range of 40-60 mg for OCD. So, you have this medical condition called "hypocelexemia"–which is medicalese for "too little Celexa in your bloodstream". Listen to Emeril Live and "kick it up a notch". Also, any chance the irritability is hormonally related? Best wishes.
I think your insight is awesome. That is a giant step in the right direction. I used to obsess about being bipolar as well as having HIV, cancer, the spectrum of STD’s, mono, and every other documented medical condition). I also had healthcare professionals misdiagnose my OCD as generalized anxiety for a long time as well. Usually, fear that you have a condition points much more to OCD than the condition that you fear. You’re in the right place. Have a great day!